Category Archives: The 7th Level of Suck

The worst of the worst. If this counts among your faves then we sir/madam can no longer be internet amigos.

DareDevil: A Protest Review

Superheroes by definition should be better than us. More noble. More principled. Better equipped to handle extraordinary situations and the threat of whatever evil is on the menu at any given time. In short they should be at least a … Continue reading

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The Critters Quadrilogy Review

Critters is a low rent paying franchise that doesn’t deserve to buff Gremlins’ ‘Gizmo’. But it exists. Four times in fact. Four almost identical times… I recently spent a week and a bit coming to grips with the entire franchise, … Continue reading

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Battleship (Review)

Ordinarily there would be a less than zero chance of me watching a film like Battleship. However a few weeks ago at work a kindly gent took the time to sketch out the film’s plot. He missed my wry grin and … Continue reading

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Ultraviolet (Review)

Apparently in the future the only things that survive are lurid, gaudy colours and bad techno. In this unpleasant future a blood disease has rended the population in twain. The diseased outsiders are called ‘hemophagers’, identified by simple tests and … Continue reading

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Hell Ride (Review)

Despite the fact that Hell Ride is a confusing, amateurish and frankly pathetic attempt at cashing in on the Grindhouse aesthetic resurrected by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez (who positively put QT’s Death Proof in the shade with Planet Terror), … Continue reading

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Armageddon (Review)

Everything about Armageddon is as low key and subtle as Lady GaGa. In a parade. On Halloween night. When asteroids hit New York City (always New York City), and the government learn there is a big – as in BIG … Continue reading

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Burn Hollywood, Burn (Review)

Look if this is what counts as insightful and witty Hollywood whimsy then Burn the fucker down indeed. And don’t scrimp on the accelerants. Allegedly a tongue in cheek look at how Hollywood politics systematically dumbs down even the most … Continue reading

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The Island of Dr Moreau 1996 (Review)

Somewhere in the South Pacific there is a naturally beautiful and exceedingly picturesque island teeming with flora, fauna and… awful actors in an equally abysmal movie. When Edward Douglas (David Thewlis) finds himself a guest on the island (thanks to … Continue reading

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Madison County (Review)

The DVD cover of a drama film normally has the director’s name emblazoned across it. If he has a solid résumé, you’re likely to pick it up. The DVD cover of an action film normally has the star’s name listed … Continue reading

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Bloodrayne Movie Trilogy Review

At a conceptual level at least Bloodrayne had a chance. It cannily cast Amazonian (and admitted nudist) Kristanna Loken hot on the heels of her Terminator 3 coming out party as the sexy half-vampire Rayne. It eschewed the box-office helping … Continue reading

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