Bipolar disorder is actually the illness where the sufferer is susceptible to rapid and extreme changes in mood without notice. Either way schizo-film-ia is a new and totally unrelated phenomenon which has nothing to do with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
Because I just invented it. And because I think Schitzo-Film-ia is a catchier title, so thbbbbbbppptttt.
There are hundreds – perhaps thousands – of films released each year worldwide. A good proportion of them have the common sense and decency to stay in their lane. They pick a genre and pretty much stick to it. But every now and then a film-maker says ‘You know what this film needs a little something extra. I’m gonna change things up a little’.
The end result is sometimes forgettable, sometimes great, and sometimes promts the viewer to rewind a little to make sure that they didn’t doze off for a few minutes.
If nothing else these films are often worth a discussion at the very least.
Let’s get the one everyone knows out of the way early.
Now over 15 years later it is easy to explain the apparent insanity of From Dusk till Dawn. This is because the two central figures behind the film are far better known to viewers, as are their strengths and predilections.
The two gents in question are of course Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, who directed and wrote the film respectively.
The first half, in which the cold blooded bank robbing, kidnapping – and worse – Gecko brothers traverse the Southern US states away from the authorities and towards the perceived safety of Mexico is pure Tarantino, especially once they decide to take Harvey Keitel’s preacher character and his kids along for the ride.
The dialogue and character development in this first hour is top notch, as is most of the acting…
… which makes the second vampire filled half so bizarre. Once the crew get to the out of the way bar with the low key handle of the ‘Titty Twister’ – and neon sign to boot – we’re only a couple drinks and a Salma Hayek table dance away from things going entirely batshit crazy.
Once this happens we’re in anything goes Rodrigez country, with crotch guns, over the top makeup, human torso guitars and condoms as weapons for all!
I should note that the disparity in cinematic tone does little to dim the entertainment of the film, if anything it makes things even more memorable.
Just last month a friend breathlessly started a story with ‘I watched the craziest film the other day. These bank robbers go to a bar and…’. Fair call the man is a little behind the times given that FDtD is 15 years old, but how often does someone feel the urge to rush to describe a film from the 90s?
That’s staying power whichever way you describe it.
The Equation: ½ character driven drama + ½ insane gore-filled vampire beatdown = All good.
I might start by saying that I found this film entirely over-rated, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t bi-polarising.
The films builds a premise that could easily have branched out in two ways. A wealthy single businessman holds fake auditions for a non-existent with the intent of choosing one applicant as his potential romantic interest.
Cue either a lovably awkward rom-com or a stalker shadowing the cute girl thriller right?
WRONG!
The film proceeds and the businessman-suitor does indeed sort the wheat from the chaff with a budding relationship the result. But things don’t pan out the way you might think – any way you might think, and by film’s end it would not be unexpected that your first words might be ‘What the Fuck?’
As the sudden change in tone is pretty much essential to any enjoyment that you as the viewer are likely to extract from this mediocre effort I cannot explain further. Aside from the eye opening last segment I can’t think of a single reason to even discuss Audition, let alone rewatch it.
But I can say that there is a fairly good chance that if you pause the film 15 minutes in and predict the possible outcomes, that you wouldn’t come up with anything remotely resembling the events of the last 15 minutes.
So quality issues aside it at least has that going for it.
(I must say though that some of the DVD covers for the film pretty much let the cat out of the bag… so to speak.)
The Equation: ½ stalker film potential + ½ WTF? filled kiri-kiri-kiri nonsense = Over-rated ‘look at me! cinema’.
Here is a clear case of expediency and commercialism trumping creativity. The first hour or so of Guillermo Del Toro’s English language debut is creepy and filled with what would become his signature moments.
Then Hollywood stepped in.
The GDT film elevated a pretty standard – and potentially extremely silly – giant bug film by dealing with the subject matter seriously and building tension through glimpses and shadowy figures.
Apparently this wasn’t hooky enough, as the last 30 minutes is a green blood and guts splatterfest featuring besieged humans brazenly attacked by huge winged beasties. Beasties who I might add found it sensible to remain below the radar for years previous.
While the last segment might have played a little faster for the impatient teens in the audience, it certainly didn’t enhance the legacy of the film. After all there were dozens of other menacing bug/creature films released at the time, most of which have vanished without trace like cockroaches after the lights are flicked on…
One person who was obviously annoyed by the baffling shift in gears was GDT himself, who saw fit to re-release the film last year with his own Director’s Cut. (His commentary track also blasted those who meddled with his baby and essentially saw GDT divorce himself from any association with the original.)
The Equation: ½ creepy bug flick + ½ Hollywood interference – Directorial control = All confusing and ultimately disappointing middling horror flick.
I’ve stated before that the primary reason why The Descent worked so well for me is that I knew nothing about it going in.
So when the 6 chicks trapped in a cave film battling claustrophobia, lack of oxygen and rising panic turned into all of the above plus savage underground beasties I was genuinely surprised in a very good way. The reveal of the cave dwelling ‘crawlers’ for the first time still gives me chills, and this remains my favourite film to watch with newbies, as I can turn and watch their expressions as unexpected things are introduced.
Head and shoulders above all this is that The Descent is an excellent film whichever way you look at it, with two equally effective if extremely different halves.
The first half maximises the terrain and sets up a survival motif that only intensifies upon the introduction of the pasty drooling predators, and the two lead performances are top notch.
Perhaps the blood soaked and gore filled last 30 minutes is a little too nuts for some to stomach, but I feel that the film earned the right to let its hair down a little after such a thorough and patient build up.
It’s just a pity that director Neil Marshall hasn’t come up with anything nearly as good since, and that even the sequel to this film was better than anything else he has created.
It’s OK to have a film that is clearly in two halves, less than ideal if your career does the same, especially if the first half is the good one.
The Equation: ½ excellent suspense-filled ‘6 chicks trapped caving’ thriller + ½ gore filled creature feature survival horror = An all time Great.
All too similar to The Revenant, Pontypool opens in a blaze of creepy glory, with the deliciously dark sandpapery tones of a late night talkback radio host providing increasingly unsettling interludes under the weight of WTF? call-in messages and flat out insane stories from on the spot reporters.
While all this is going on the tension in the small snowed in studio builds, the hairs rise on the back of your neck and arms and you unwittingly realise that you are bracing yourself for the time that will undoubtedly come when those committing these horrors must undoubtedly arrive to kill us all…
Then comes the unfortunate credibility killer – the ‘station break’ equivalent when the film-makers decide that they simply have to put an explanation behind all this so we the viewers can somehow feel better ‘that this is all remotely possible’. Well no it isn’t. And taking the time to painstakingly explain it killed any semblance of tension.
As with The Revenant it seems once they make the ‘big reveal’ all care and sense of responsibility is shelved in favour of stock standard amateur shockery and frankly ridiculous developments.
In my initial review I asked myself if ‘is fair to review half a movie’. I ended up giving a cautious recommendation with a big * that divorced my endorsement from the final stages.
There is a saying that if a film ends on an especially high note the viewer will forgive a lot of other failings and leave happy. But should it matter if the last 20 minutes are dumb? I think yes. Now two years since my first viewing I have not bothered revisiting Pontypool and more to the point have no plans to; if the second half matched the first I would have bought the DVD and rewatched it at least a couple times since. Sometimes consistency counts.
The Equation: ½ entirely fresh and genuinely chilling build up + ½ stock standard sloppy zombie finale = Shattered expectations.
My most recent addition to this list, The Revenant is best described as half indescribably original, half absolutely – and depressingly – the same as every other cut rate horror flick.
I loved the first half of this film at sat on the edge of my couch praying that it could maintain the quality so that I could finally proclaim the discovery of a new cinematic gem. After all how many truly different vampire/zombie genre films have been released in the last decade?
The final hour put paid to all that, a disappointing twist that chose to replicate many other lesser films by introducing a ‘zany, black, unexpected’ angle that was unfortunately only unexpected, and not for the right reasons.
Like Pontypool The Revenant is a film still well worth checking out for the first half alone and due to a terrific lead performance, in Pontypool it was Stephen McHattie, in The Revenant it is a eerily possible low key performance by Chris Wylde, a guy who looks like a skate park reject but exhibited surprisingly good choices and a charismatic turn.
You can’t help but keep your eye on Wylde even though at times the film doesn’t revolve around him, but you can’t help but feel sorry for him as the film lazily allows itself to slide back into the comfortable rut and see out the second half on autopilot.
The Revenant could have been Great, but ‘nearly’ might as well be a million miles away.
The Equation: ½ unbelievably unexpected buddy zombie/vampire comedy – played straight + ½ formulaic ‘let’s just finish this’ = A missed opportunity.
As well as being a film with split personalities Knowing actually managed to also neatly split viewers down the middle. Many label it hokey and amateurish, and just as many extol the virtues of the film and claim it a minor masterpiece.
On rottentomatoes.com the user vote for ‘Fresh / Rotten’ has Knowing at exactly 50%.
And who better to have the king of the split personality beasts, the good old acting bi-polar bear himself Mr Nic / Nicolas Cage in the starring role as John, a man thrust into a world of karmically scheduled disasters involving huge numbers of fatalities all thanks to a scrap of paper from a time capsule.
From this foundation Knowing becomes a code-breaking discovery flick, like National Treasure but with a little credibility.
The event that splits the film – and viewers – down the middle is spectacular and one of the best scenes in years. It is also unfortunately the indisputable high point in the film and the reason the back end suffers so much while the film-makers reach deeper into their box of tricks to continue to wow us.
Didn’t work with The Box, and doesn’t work here (but at least this film tried hard to earn the right to ask us to suspend disbelief).
The Equation: ½ code-cracking thriller + the unbelievably cool plane crash + over-reaching = A minor classic or all time flop – depending on who you ask…
The only thing I can remember about The Box is the basic element that the teaser trailer outlined:
Open The Box and press a button to receive One MILLION dollars no questions asked. The only hitch is that some random stranger will be killed if you do.
That and the fact that Cameron Diaz now looks like a carnival clown…
In any case my initial review labelled the film as a clone of the Sam Raimi directed The Gift from last decade, at least the first half of the film is a period drama with little more than a long discussion of whether to push the button or not, during which time the couple ponder all possible permutations and repercussions.
It matters not whether they did or didn’t push the button. Regardless of the decision The Box is collected the next morning and taken away.
What the couple experience after the pick-up is straight up crazy, essentially implausible to the point of ridiculousness and unbelievably complicated, veering all the way into sci-fi territory. Unfortunately while this second half refocusses your attention as you struggle to decide if this is even the same film or not, I should point out that it isn’t very good sci-fi, but the film deserves credit for demanding your attention once more.
Funnily enough after such an unforeseen flipping of the script The Box came and went without a trace, proof I guess that the sum of two mediocre halves is still overall mediocrity, regardless of how ambitious the mathematician is.
The Equation: ½ human drama surrounding a momentous decision + a Twilight Zone second half = a film no-one even remembers three years on.
In recent years a number of films have thought it a good idea to place short ‘hidden’ scenes after the credits. For the most part these short sequences aren’t important to the main film – which is why they can risk viewers who leave once the credits roll missing them.
But sometimes they are pretty cool, often containing throwaway jokes, clarification of the fate of characters or items removed from proceedings earlier on, or set ups for a potential sequel – The Avengers have been forming in these post-credits moments for many films now…
Which brings me to Midnight Meat Train, the film which I believe took a 10 minute deleted sequence and unnecessarily reinserted it back into a decent little horror film that required no ‘gussying up’. While this might not exactly make a 50/50 film – more a 90/10 – it does alter the facts to such an extent that we have to retroactively reimagine the first 90 minutes of the film into a totally new context.
Put another way – SPOILERS – the first 90 minutes was a nicely violent, if implausible, horror film with Vinnie Jones playing a stoic and silent train passenger who bludgeons and batters late night commuters in a large number of bloody ways.
He decides he wants to beat Bradley Cooper to death and fair enough too, Vinnie is probably married and seems the jealous type…
Then the film ends. No, wait. Apparently it doesn’t.
For no known reason all of a sudden we are told that the mindless serial killer guy is actually merely a provider of meat products to his ‘customers’, whom even in spoileriffic mode I won’t unveil. Suffice to say they were outer space lizard people.
Whoops.
And with that a potential franchise with a memorable killer is beaten to death with a symbolic meat hammer. What might have been.
The Equation: ¼ tightly wound, nasty little horror film + ¼ franchise potential + ¼ a dream role for Vinnie Jones + ¼ outer-space lizard people = one scaly ingredient too many.
The difference in this film isn’t so obvious upon first viewing. But every subsequent viewing just makes the clear divide even more obvious.
Knocked Up starts by telling the story from the point of view of the slobbish Ben who as the title suggests ‘knocks up’ Alison (Katherine Heigl).
Hilarity ensues… actually it does. These early scenes show Ben and his similarly inclined slackers indulging their every whim, free from responsibility and light years away from the real ‘adult experience’.
In short it’s as fun to watch as it was to live that life. But the film suddenly flip-flops and decides it should be Alison holding the conch, thereafter Ben’s days of guilt free stupidity are O.V.E.R. From here on in he – and the film – are doomed to suffer.
As I mentioned in my review the last half is a largely laugh free zone, filled with learning, evolving and growing.
Ask any irresponsible twenty-something how their learning, evolving and growing is going and you’ll be met with a blank stare. Ask any male over thirty to watch a film that manages to painfully show how a carefree lad is burdened with the instant realization that those days are over and you get more tears than any rom-com.
But for all the wrong reasons.
The Equation: ½ male friendly sex-comedy + ½ female friendly chick-flick = an OK film that leaves no-one truly satisfied.
Depending on your perspective Bedevilled can be a film in two halves or a straightforward (albeit especially nasty) revenge flick.
All I know is that for a good portion of the film I thought it was about one character, only to realise with crystal clear hindsight that it was entirely about another. Let’s just say around the sharpening of the farming and kitchen utensils that I twigged something was up…
The film cleverly uses a red herring to even bring the characters together on isolated Moo-Do island, a small blip on the map featuring a miniscule weather-worn population of hard working men and women.
While temporary newcomer Hae-Won shields herself from the sun and for a moment forgets the hustle and bustle of city life all around her in this tranquil haven disturbing acts and sketchy characters orbit her in ever reducing circles.
SPOILERS!
Yet she ignores the warning signs for a long, long time, even when the only young woman remotely her age pleads with her to ‘wake up and smell the woman-beating’.
When Hae-Won finally is able to grasp the enormity of the situation it is too late; for everyone else.
Yep, half of the film has you thinking that in the near future Hae-Won is going to have to fight off a male assailant or herself become a victim. The second half shows quite clearly that the other locals might well have been better warned to worry about themselves.
After the early sequences on the island it became evident that violence was indeed likely to be the answer, I just thought that it would be someone else dealing it out.
The Equation: ½ vulnerable woman in a strange land set-up + ½ sharpening various pointy things + using them = a now deserted island.
I watched Martyrs three years ago on the back of message board notoriety and promptly announced that I felt it sucked.
I have not seen it since and feel exactly the same way now just reading the film’s title.
Martyrs sucks. But for the convenience of this list it sucks in two ways. In fact at the time I saw fit to review the film twice; splitting the flick into two neat halves.
The first half is your standard off the rack teen horror flick, in this case it follows the young girl venting frustrations at her unfortunate youth by spilling the blood of strangers. Lots of blood.
The second half is so different that they might as well have run a new set of credits.
Aaaaaah the ‘controversial’, ‘experimental’, ‘if you don’t like it you don’t get it’ half. The half that has absolutely nothing to do with the former aside from the carryover of one character. The half that bored me to death and had me watching cracks on the ceiling because it was so especially uncreative and uninteresting.
Unfortunately also the half that it seems made Martyrs a critical darling and a message board hot topic…
I still can’t explain this. Only if Martyrs is indeed a ‘modern day classic’ perhaps those same people would find entertainment in watching an autopsy film. It might be gross, but would that make it good film-making? Nuh-uh.
The Equation: ½ sloppy slasher flick + delusions of controversial material + chat-rooms filled with emo gits that miss the point = an entirely over-rated waste of time.
As I alluded to earlier if a film is created to take the viewer on a journey it is often not the best idea to dramaticaly change course half way through, but when it is justified any diversion can be extremely rewarding and worth discovering.
If you know of any similar flicks with identity issues shoot us a comment and I’ll happily look them up, even dodgy examples of schizo-film-ia are at least challenging.
Later.
OGR
