Fanboy cover that tells you nothing about the film.
I may be being tuff, but Outlander is a bad movie.
It takes a lazy premise that has been done again and again and again (Yes, I’ll give examples) for over 5 decades now, and takes it nowhere. This would never have been greenlit if it weren’t for the supposedly unique hook that it has, that of being “Vikings Vs Aliens”, aside from the Vikings bit there is nothing fresh. To take the Viking analogy further Outlander rapes the memory of several other, better movies and plunders the best bits if other not as good movies.
Outlander will not be enjoying eternity in Valhalla.
The opening is memorable only for being exactly the same as several other sci-fi films: a space ship crashlands to Earth.
Predator / Slither / Killer Klowns from Outer Space / The Thing included among others I can’t remember right now.
Norway AD 709
The ship lands, and two humans emerge, only one is dragging the other. Turns out 1 is alive, and 1 is dead, the alive guy is played by Jim Cavaziel, who woulda been pissed if he landed the other role.
Upon awakening, he grabs some high tech stuff and works out the local language and info regarding his surroundings, (the amusing thing is that the subtitle says local language is Norse, and his first word is; I shit you not, “Fuuuu-uuuck!”). For the remainder of the film Norse apparently sounded like English, Irish, American and whatever else. Some actors try. Others just don’t give a fuck.
So our boy plods about and comes across a settlement of huts razed to the ground, while investigating he is taken by Vikings.
Wow Vikings! This will be awesome!
Cut to the chase: Jim is Kanen, pronounced kay-nenn. The spaceship he is on had another alien on it that killed the rest of his crew, and escaped along with him to the Viking area, it also killed everyone on the other settlement. Kanen joins the Viking tribe to hunt the thing down.
So we have a normal settlement threatened by a fantasy creature, that must fight to survive and resist the intruder.
Sound similar? How ’bout Predator, Pitch Black, The Host, Species, Tremors, Split Second, Deep Rising… I could go on but I won’t. Outlander is not as good as any of them aside from Deep Rising, which is even more terrible than this.
The aliens here look like the Keymaster and the Keykeeper statues from Ghostbusters, the CGI is often lazy and cheap looking. There are a couple absolutely laughable scenes that supposedly show how Kanen bonds and is accepted by the Vikings, including one where they run over a series of shields held by other bonehead Vikings that would have actually added a point to the Final Rating through being removed it was so bad.
This had the same old characters, the same old settings, the same premises as dozens of other better movies. For some reason putting pointy horns on the helmets of some guys would make it better and original somehow?
Now if I ask you to tell me two things about Vikings, ONE of them will be horned-helmets.
THEY DON’T EVEN PUT HORNS ON THE HELMETS ANYWAY!!!!!!! WHY EVEN CALL THEM VIKINGS??
Jim tries to remain calm, he plays his crappy role in an understated manner and treats it almost like the movie deserves respect and more credit. Only everything else falls down around him, and the film does not for a second deserve any respect even from fanboys with a Viking fetish.
Final Rating – 5 / 10. Pretty lousy film that relies on the cover to draw your hands to the DVD cover. Don’t let yourself be fooled.
