Brad Pitt’s into the Benjamin Button juice again.
I quite liked Thor. Even though repeat viewings haven’t helped its cause (and the sharing of plot lines on Asgard and Earth only served to dilute the film). I thought Chris Hemsworth was perfect as the blonde, chiselled, hammer wielding god. Perhaps the best casting in the Avengers series this side of Robert Downey Jr.
But no wig and novelty hammer combo can save Hemsworth this time around.
It opens with half bro Loki in the naughty corner and Thor now rightly receiving the plaudits for saving Asgard from a frostbitten fate. Again happy dad Odin (Anthony Hopkins) is beaming at his son’s career resurgence, but the big fella is mourning the loss of his Earth Gal Jane (Natalie Portman), who thanks to prior events is marooned and uncontactable on Earth (despite the excellent telephone reception available on Asgard…)
For her part Jane refuses to linger and is contemplating dating. Beside that she has managed to squeeze in the time to discover that the universes have aligned and matter can be moved to and fro instantaneously. Will this be a good thing or a bad thing? Will it be important to the plot? Let’s read on.
Meanwhile on Asgard – and get used to ‘meanwhile’ – the role reversals continue, Odin gets ornery, aggressive and impatient at Thor’s reluctance to marry an Asgardian (namely the one with the half dress from the film’s premiere – not a bad call dad). Strangely the formerly rash Thor plays it all reasonable and conservative like, not at all like someone with blue balls and an itchy hammer…
Here is a film jam packed with extremely capable combat ready men and women taking turns to gaze meaningfully at the heavens while talking about their feelings at length. But when the time arrives for action, the land battles come across like Lord of the Rings crossed with Flash Gordon, and the space battles feature ships from Battlestar Galactica doing Star Wars things. So maybe DMC’s are sometimes better.
The stolen hybrids continue upon the arrival of the forgettable bad guys, amalgams of the Dark City dudes via a mating of LotR elves and Blade 2 Reapers.
The chats continue, the solemn looks remain, and every half hour something explodes and people on other universes look up in sadness.
My experience was a big ditto to that, especially after the frankly terrible ending. I might have kinda liked the first film, but I could have done without this big dose of Thor-azine.
The one thing Thor 2: Cruise Control has on the first was a few more jokes. But if you want a light chuckle at thirty minute intervals I suggest you invest in a knock-knock book. If you want a good movie, perhaps look elsewhere.
Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. Hopefully Captain America 2 will arrive to save us in mid 2014. This is the worst Marvel film yet.
