It is Greece, 1228 B.C. King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) and his armies seek to overthrow the Gods – with whom he has a personal grudge. The Gods have decided long before not to meddle with the affairs of Man, and sit high above in the clouds like beautiful gold clad Statler and Waldorfs.
Hyperion is a nasty piece of work, a bitter and violent man who will stop at nothing to get his way. He feels that the only thing standing between him and the Immortals is a magic bow called Epirus, but it is so well hidden no-one knows where to find it. So Hyperion seeks the assistance of the Virgin Oracle (Frieda Pinto), a pure spirit who can see things no-one else can.
While Hyperion roams the lands in his never-ending search for the Epirus bow and the Oracle, he multi-tasks by killing potential threats to his future rule along the way. These include any villages that favour the Gods, and especially pregnant women who might raise
children to fight him down the track.
One of these women slain happens to be Theseus’ Mum. Theseus was not born to be a warrior, but with determination and guidance from a ‘wise old man’ (John Hurt) he is perhaps the best credentialed threat to Hyperion’s bloodthirsty quest. Indeed the Gods themselves have noticed from upon high in between preening themselves and polishing their attire, and have decided Theseus warrants special favour.
Handy.
After some chance meetings Theseus sets off with the Oracle and a soldier Stavros (Stephen Dorff) in tow towards a big violent climax a la 300… and practically every big quest flick of the last decade.
While the name Immortals might suggest grandeur and everlasting legend, this film is anything but. In fact the memory of this particular flick might not last more than a couple weeks beyond next year’s DVD release date.
That’s not to say it’s terrible – it’s okaaaaayyyy – but it battles with so many internal conflicts that it can’t possibly overcome with such a derivative script.
The problem is that the film is a polarising mish-mash of excellence and incompetence. The costume, sets and production are flawless, but the acting (I’m looking at you Mickey Rourke), plot and action are adequate at best. And why does every second film released
lately have a score that seems to rip off Inception?
The film is necessarily violent but not in any especially new or cool way, I’ve seen a lot of limbs and heads severed lately. Yawn.
I can’t fathom why the Greek Gods keep popping up again and again in big budget Hollywood films despite the fact no-one has managed to make a decent film about them… Oh yeah, all that money what they done made.
Let’s just say that it’s better than Clash of the Titans and far less cheesy than 300, but that’s like me claiming to be the world high jump champion because I can step over a phone book.
Director Tarsem Singh has some of the most astounding and memorable visuals in his films, but his failing lies in telling a story coherently. I love looking at his films but I don’t often understand them, that applies to both The Cell and The Fall from last decade. Immortals falls victim to the same issues, it is a gorgeous bitch of a film, nice to look at but it will ultimately leave you cold.
Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. The backdrops are purrty, the combatants oily and well muscled, but the film itself is merely OK.
