Escape from L.A. (Review)

But that isn’t a good thing…

About a year ago I watched and wrote up Escape from New York. The short version of that review is that Snake Plissken is an awesome character that was let down just a little by the limitations and flaws of the film he appeared in.

I admired the film more than I liked it.

I put off watching / discussing Escape from LA for a long time, mainly because I remember clearly just how inferior it was. In fact compared the so-so original film this is an utter turkey.

In 2000 there was a megaquake in LA which literally shook the city free from mainland USA, leaving it floating offshore . Now Americans being such a practical breed decided to squeeze out this lemon and make some lemonade. They set up guntowers on the coastline and converted the new LA island into a deportation zone for miscreants and undesirables of all kinds.

Again.

Then as luck would have it the inhabitants of the island came across some things that were necessary to the President and those on the mainland.

Again.

And Snake Plissken had just been taken into custody and given the ‘get this for us or else’ ultimatum.

Again.

So Snake finds his way to LA in a scene crafted with all the skill, suspense and competence of any in a Spongebob Squarepants episode and finds that ‘new’ LA done changed. Every guy is a hobo or a heavy, and every gal is a hooker or… well they’re all hookers apparently.

Cuervo Jones is the heaviest of the non-hobos, and it is he that has what others want, and what therefore Snake must attain, which he does in a series of scenes that are unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.

Now I can forgive some dodgy CGI, the limitations of a low budget and the nearly constant and quite obvious reliance on matte painting backdrops, but there are many unforgivables in Escape from LA.

It seems that when John Carpenter was at his most creative and relevant everything came easy – for example Big Trouble in Little China remains one of my favourites to this day despite the fact that it is a mishmash of disparate ideas and in reality shouldn’t work. By the 90s Carpenter wasn’t just out of good ideas, he seemed to struggle with even average ones. I mean the best parts of this film are ripped straight from the first, but when Carpenter tried to jazz things up with new additions it was obvious that he was chasing cool rather than creating it. There is a basketball scene that flat out sucks and is corny as hell, and that is followed by a nausea inducing ‘surfing’ scene that leads almost directly to a hang-gliding sequence that is like, totally not extreme.

The rest of Escape from LA is bland and lifeless, and therefore a huge step up from these moments.

And for the star watchers among us…

Forgot to mention: Pam Grier is TERRIBLE.

Bruce Campbell has a cameo playing a fiendish underground plastic surgeon (and looking decidedly non-Bruce I might add), and Steve Buscemi plays a toadying low life that seems to work for whatever side benefits him at the time. The goodwill Snake Plissken garnered from the first film evaporates quite early in proceedings and is never regained, leaving me feeling sorry for Kurt Russell as he tries in vain to make things look somehow less embarrassing without ever succeeding.

Escape from LA was and remains John Carpenter’s only sequel, for that we should be thankful there was never The Thing 2, or More Trouble in Little China, as it would hurt to see the classics tarnished with inferior follow ups.

Final Rating – 5 / 10. The good is nowhere to be seen. The OK is OK. The bad is truly lamentable, as is this film.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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