This was listed at #1 in an online article about forgotten or underrated gems in cinema. I’d seen it a long time ago but thought maybe I wasn’t mature enough in my teens to “get it” and that it might deserve another shot. After all, I am like totally mature now right?
And like the verdict? Nuh-uh!! Twin Peaks Sux!
Look I know David Lynch is supposed to be a maverick genius, a visionary with an eye for the sublimely ridiculously and the ridiculously sublime. A man who can make you sick and then make you think, but all this crap is just too much.
All I remember from the original TV series or film = “A body… wrapped in plaaaastic.” & “Who killed Laura Palmer”, then 2 or 3 years before anyone found out who, and by now no-one cares or remembers anyway. Like this film an exercise in marketing and style over substance.
We open the film. A young girl is dead, it is not (yet) Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee).
FBI Agents Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Stanley Keifer Sutherland are on the case…
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A detective that yells for no reason!
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A red-headed, red-dressed, purse-lipped “lady” drag queen!
The detectives examine the body and go for a late supper…
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A crazy lookin’ dirty lady holding her eye!
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A red white-faced man with a pointy-nosed-mask!
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A red-suited dwarf who speaks incredibly slowly!
One year later Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle McLachlan) gets involved thanks to his supposed psychic abilities… By now Laura Palmer is a schoolgirl drug using slut simultaneously stringing 3 guys along…
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A hairy imaginary madman named Bob!
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An old woman beckoning with a masked child!
Laura’s Dad is a creepy fucker…
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Agent Cooper tries to invade Laura’s dreams to warn her!
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A dead body talks to Laura in her bed!
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There is a magic picture on the wall!
Laura ends up going to a seedy bar to make some cash… by hooking…
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A woman carrying a log gives her a wacky message!
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A muted convo in a red-lit strip club that goes for too long!
Laura doesn’t want her friend to end up like her.
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A jumping masked kid!
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Bob’s return!
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Murdaahh! Drugs! Sex! Orgy!
Laura’s Dad really is a creepy fucker… One last meeting…
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A masturbating teapot!
Twin Peaks is one fucked up town…
This film is like someone listened to the lyrics of a Beck album and decided to make it a film. It is convoluted and pointless, and manages to drag out a 20 minute point for 2+ hours.
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A photocopier that only prints on biscuits!
Laura Palmer was a skank who lives in a creepy town full of creepy fuckers in a dysfunctional family with a lunatic freak of a father. She wallows in the seedy side of things and ultimately it should be no surprise to find that she was unfortunately murdered.
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Cousins who love Riverdance!
Final Rating – 6 / 10. In some ways I think I am still stuck in the 90s. At times though I watch stuff like this and am glad it ended.
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Technicolour Pancakes!
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Eccentric unexpected distractions!