Twin Peaks – Fire Walk with me (Review)

Sunday is French for tree!

This was listed at #1 in an online article about forgotten or underrated gems in cinema. I’d seen it a long time ago but thought maybe I wasn’t mature enough in my teens to “get it” and that it might deserve another shot. After all, I am like totally mature now right?

And like the verdict? Nuh-uh!! Twin Peaks Sux!

Look I know David Lynch is supposed to be a maverick genius, a visionary with an eye for the sublimely ridiculously and the ridiculously sublime. A man who can make you sick and then make you think, but all this crap is just too much.

All I remember from the original TV series or film = “A body… wrapped in plaaaastic.” & “Who killed Laura Palmer”, then 2 or 3 years before anyone found out who, and by now no-one cares or remembers anyway. Like this film an exercise in marketing and style over substance.

We open the film. A young girl is dead, it is not (yet) Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee).

FBI Agents Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Stanley Keifer Sutherland are on the case…

  • A detective that yells for no reason!

  • A red-headed, red-dressed, purse-lipped “lady” drag queen!

The detectives examine the body and go for a late supper…

  • A crazy lookin’ dirty lady holding her eye!

  • A red white-faced man with a pointy-nosed-mask!

  • A red-suited dwarf who speaks incredibly slowly!

One year later Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle McLachlan) gets involved thanks to his supposed psychic abilities… By now Laura Palmer is a schoolgirl drug using slut simultaneously stringing 3 guys along…

  • A hairy imaginary madman named Bob!

  • An old woman beckoning with a masked child!

Laura’s Dad is a creepy fucker…

  • Agent Cooper tries to invade Laura’s dreams to warn her!

  • A dead body talks to Laura in her bed!

  • There is a magic picture on the wall!

Laura ends up going to a seedy bar to make some cash… by hooking…

  • A woman carrying a log gives her a wacky message!

  • A muted convo in a red-lit strip club that goes for too long!

Laura doesn’t want her friend to end up like her.

  • A jumping masked kid!

  • Bob’s return!

  • Murdaahh! Drugs! Sex! Orgy!

Laura’s Dad really is a creepy fucker… One last meeting…

  • A masturbating teapot!

Twin Peaks is one fucked up town…

This film is like someone listened to the lyrics of a Beck album and decided to make it a film. It is convoluted and pointless, and manages to drag out a 20 minute point for 2+ hours.

  • A photocopier that only prints on biscuits!

Laura Palmer was a skank who lives in a creepy town full of creepy fuckers in a dysfunctional family with a lunatic freak of a father. She wallows in the seedy side of things and ultimately it should be no surprise to find that she was unfortunately murdered.

  • Cousins who love Riverdance!

Final Rating – 6 / 10. In some ways I think I am still stuck in the 90s. At times though I watch stuff like this and am glad it ended.

  • Technicolour Pancakes!

  • Wow they exist. Thanks google-images.

    Eccentric unexpected distractions!

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
This entry was posted in Film, Movie Reviews, The Grey Area. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.