No possible downside right?
I’ll admit it, the title got me, I also watched Boa Vs Python a couple years back.
In the time it takes you to read this the creators of Dinocroc Vs Supergator will have concocted three more lousy films, that’s how much care went into making this.
Unfortunately a dumb title + miniscule costs + stupid boneheads like me who rent it = a guarantee of more such films.
There’s really only one reason I even wrote this review, so I could slip a crappy “in poor taste” joke in. You’ll know it when you see it.
Scientists in Hawaii are trying to genetically improve and enhance veggies and stuff, leading to giant mushrooms that will apparently solve world hunger. Yay mushrooms for all! Only in true evil genius fashion they are also given the task of enhancing an alligator and a crocodile, for no explainable reason aside from big lizards eating people is fun.
The cast is full of no names (aside from one) who responded to casting ads stuck on telephone poles… and from the looks of lots of them stripper poles.
The dialogue is so uniformly dumb that the two or three vaguely “normal” sentences stand out from the pack.
They should’ve splurged for the 50c upgrade on the CGI deal that they got, that would’ve likely increased the believability of the croc and alligator by about 77%.
Speaking of the giant crocodile and alligator: They are apparently between say 6 and 12 metres long, it seems to vary depending on the scene. They can outrun a car and are impervious to bullets, in one scene two soldiers pump mag after mag into the alligator (did I mention he walks on his hind legs?) with no result.
But my favourite scene: A nature photographer happens across two chicks walking in the jungle. After a 4 second conversation between the girls they convince him to take photos of them in their bikinis (I might add one of the females had a face like an omelette). The photographer is eaten in one chomp and the girls make a bolt for it. They run maybe 30 metres and stop, one says to the other “do you think we’re safe?” Seconds later one of the girls is standing in water up to her ankles when one of the giant reptiles emerges from beneath her to swallow her in one gulp!
So a maybe 10 metre giant creature rises up from ankle deep water without a ripple. Brilliant.
Final Rating – 4 / 10. The only name guy in the film? David Carradine as the evil genius behind the whole experiment. After Kill Bill he made this, I think that explains why he hung himself.
