Seth Rogen: Hey *cough* pass that here man.
Inhale.
Joonowot?
Jonah Hill: Huh?
Rogen: I said, duyouknowhat?
Hill: K.
…
What?
Rogen: What? Oh yeah. You know how we get stoned and watch cartoons?
Hill: Yep.
Rogen: Do you know who else gets stoned and watches cartoons?
Hill: Stoners?
Rogen: Zackly. And teenagers and young adults.
Hill: I heard they’re the guys who go to movies to. *snort* hey, we’re IN movies.
Rogen: What I’m talking abut maaaannn. We’re in movies. We love cartoons. You know what Pixar never did?
Hill: Made a bad movie?
Rogen: Phh, Cars 2! Wait I lost my thought of train. Pass that here ‘gen.
Inhale.
Oh yeah. Pixar never made a movie about violence and sex and shit.
Hill: They’re kid’s movies dude.
Rogen: Yeah but someone must have made a cartoon for adults since Fritz the Cat. Surely?
Hill: I’ll check the internet.
*seconds later*
It says check out the Japanese manga channel.
*click*
Hill/Rogen: Whooooooooaaaaaaa.
Both lean forward and stare.
…
19 hours later.
Hill: Dude.
Rogen: Whuh?
Hill: Dude. Rember what we just said. Scratch that. Japan has owned grown up cartoons.
Rogen: But… Yeah but. But you know what they haven’t done? They never had vegetables and food and stuff.
Hill: Dude when that girl and the watermelon –
Rogen: Yeah that. But I said the food didn’t talk.
Hill: Nuh you diint.
Rogen: But did it?
Hill: What?
Rogen: Talk?
Hill: No… Noooo it didn’t. Wow.
Rogen: So we could do that.
Hill: What.
Rogen: Make a talking food movie.
…
…
Both at once: Oh it could be hilarious. Everything would talk. It could swear. It could trash talk. It could fuck.
Could it fuck?
*Nodding* It could totally fuck. Have you ever seen a hot dog? Man they look just like dicks.
…
And hot dog buns!
Simultaneously: Buns. Ha.
Both at once: And we can get all the semi-famous guys and gals to do voices. And we can do jokes!
Both yelling: DICK JOKES!
Hill: Should we write some jokes now?
Rogen: Nah later. We’ll do it on the day.
(Reviewer’s note: They didn’t.)
Rogen: We can write a song.
Hill: A food song!
Rogen: That’s what I meant. Fuck how do you have a Oscar nomination?
Hill: Two nominations… Dos.
Rogen: Fuck.
12 hours later.
Anyway should we do the sausage/dick hotdog bun/vagina movie?
Hill: Oh maybe. Man I’m hungry.
Rogen: Too late I already texted everyone in my contacts. We start next week.
Hill: Is that enough time to make a classic that we can release in award’s season?
Rogen: Suuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrre.
…
You’ll see.
Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. I never smoked things illegal or legal. I don’t drink enough (socially) for this shit to be funny anymore. To me it’s just a bunch of animated genital proxies spouting clumsy innuendo without ever bothering with actual jokes.
Man I sound like my dad lamenting some of my teenage faves.
Fuck.
