Twin Peaks – Fire Walk with me (Review)

Sunday is French for tree!

This was listed at #1 in an online article about forgotten or underrated gems in cinema. I’d seen it a long time ago but thought maybe I wasn’t mature enough in my teens to “get it” and that it might deserve another shot. After all, I am like totally mature now right?

And like the verdict? Nuh-uh!! Twin Peaks Sux!

Look I know David Lynch is supposed to be a maverick genius, a visionary with an eye for the sublimely ridiculously and the ridiculously sublime. A man who can make you sick and then make you think, but all this crap is just too much.

All I remember from the original TV series or film = “A body… wrapped in plaaaastic.” & “Who killed Laura Palmer”, then 2 or 3 years before anyone found out who, and by now no-one cares or remembers anyway. Like this film an exercise in marketing and style over substance.

We open the film. A young girl is dead, it is not (yet) Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee).

FBI Agents Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Stanley Keifer Sutherland are on the case…

  • A detective that yells for no reason!

  • A red-headed, red-dressed, purse-lipped “lady” drag queen!

The detectives examine the body and go for a late supper…

  • A crazy lookin’ dirty lady holding her eye!

  • A red white-faced man with a pointy-nosed-mask!

  • A red-suited dwarf who speaks incredibly slowly!

One year later Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle McLachlan) gets involved thanks to his supposed psychic abilities… By now Laura Palmer is a schoolgirl drug using slut simultaneously stringing 3 guys along…

  • A hairy imaginary madman named Bob!

  • An old woman beckoning with a masked child!

Laura’s Dad is a creepy fucker…

  • Agent Cooper tries to invade Laura’s dreams to warn her!

  • A dead body talks to Laura in her bed!

  • There is a magic picture on the wall!

Laura ends up going to a seedy bar to make some cash… by hooking…

  • A woman carrying a log gives her a wacky message!

  • A muted convo in a red-lit strip club that goes for too long!

Laura doesn’t want her friend to end up like her.

  • A jumping masked kid!

  • Bob’s return!

  • Murdaahh! Drugs! Sex! Orgy!

Laura’s Dad really is a creepy fucker… One last meeting…

  • A masturbating teapot!

Twin Peaks is one fucked up town…

This film is like someone listened to the lyrics of a Beck album and decided to make it a film. It is convoluted and pointless, and manages to drag out a 20 minute point for 2+ hours.

  • A photocopier that only prints on biscuits!

Laura Palmer was a skank who lives in a creepy town full of creepy fuckers in a dysfunctional family with a lunatic freak of a father. She wallows in the seedy side of things and ultimately it should be no surprise to find that she was unfortunately murdered.

  • Cousins who love Riverdance!

Final Rating – 6 / 10. In some ways I think I am still stuck in the 90s. At times though I watch stuff like this and am glad it ended.

  • Technicolour Pancakes!

  • Wow they exist. Thanks google-images.

    Eccentric unexpected distractions!

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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