Thanks Miami Blues. Prior to this film I foolishly allowed myself to become bored by ridiculous plots and dull action. Somewhere during the drab 97 minute running time I started wondering if this was all so stale because it was based on a true story and restricted the story.
Ninety seconds of sleepy eyed research couldn’t tell me if this was based upon a true story, but for the time I remained unsure I found myself being more forgiving if the tedium.
So that’s now a thing; if nothing is happening you can generate more understanding by telling yourself that ‘it must be a true story’.
Still, some true stories – even probable fictions like this one – needn’t be told.
Alec Baldwin plays a guy who for most of the film uses a pseudonym but those closest call him just ‘Junior’. As a small time crim and full time dick, Junior opens the film punching a Hare Krishna at an airport. It is when said Hare Krishna dies unexpectedly that he attracts the attention of the law, namely homicide detective Mosely (Fred Ward).
Primary plot established right? Wrong. The vaguely interesting opening ten minutes are betrayed by a lack of cohesion.
Junior speed-courts a hooker named Susie (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and mistreats his way into her heart somehow, before dabbling in a little identity theft and becoming a douche-vigilante, the least likeable Robin Hood in cinematic history.
It’s a jumbled and unfunny mess with a couple moments that hint at black comedy without success, and other moments that hint at end goals of quirkiness, only without a single likeable or even bearable character. It was several years before Alec Baldwin proved to all what a genuine douche he is, but you don’t have to look had to see the signs here.
Final Rating – 5 / 10. I truly cannot even guess at what they were trying to do here. Whatever their aim was, they missed…