What Just Happened? (Review)

what_just_happenedWhat just Happened? Good question. I just killed a hundred minutes and a similar number of brain cells trying to work it out and I am no closer to the truth than I was before I pressed ‘Play’.

The film revolves around Hollywood producer Ben (Robert De Niro) and a particularly stressful time in his life. Ben must juggle an eccentric, headstrong and controversial new director (Michael Korda) and the new extra violent film that he so covets, the hard as nails pragmatic studio boss (Catherine Keener), the stubborn and arrogant Superstar Bruce Willis and his timid agent (John Turturro), two ex-wives and miscellaneous children.

Watching Ben futilely haggle with the proud and mostly crazy director over a few choice cuts that will soften the film and make it more commercially viable is kind of amusing – for the first minute. The second and minute and ninety odd thereafter test the patience.

And the lengthy ‘tension’ and ‘stress’ generated by wondering if Bruce Willis will be willing to shave his beard for the latest role – or risk breaching his multi-million dollar contract – wasn’t funny for even that opening sixty seconds. The irony of the situation is obvious; if they are poking fun at how silly and juvenile it is to get caught up in a matter of a famous person’s facial hair, how are we meant to take the outcome seriously?

There’s a reason this stuff remains behind the scenes or at most in the trivia section of the imdb.com film pages; it’s simply not that fascinating. Even with Hollywood scriptwriters, directors, producers, actors and the benefit of imagining fictitious events, this is dull and pointless stuff.

What just happened? Sweet fuck all for mine…

Final Rating – 4.5 / 10. A spectacular failure with pretensions of being the ultimate ‘inside Hollywood’ satire. Just a huge and expensive waste of everyone’s time.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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