Cow in gumboots. Classic!
Top Secret is in truth an average film but a Gold Star effort that is almost likeable enough to seem more than that.
Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer) is the Bieber of his day, a good looking vacuous pop star sent to pre WW2 Germany on a mission to spread goodwill and unity – what with all that Nazi unpleasantness and possible conflict imminent.
No sooner than Nick hits town than he finds himself embroiled in a tale of espionage, secrecy and sight gags. So many sight gags.
Top Secret is no stickler for realism and factual events. No joke is unturned and no pun ignored, regardless of how silly they seem. But unlike today’s patently worthless Date Movie / Epic Movie / Titanic yawnfests Top Secret is actually quite inventive, boasting a sequence run in reverse, a huge submarine magnet and a so silly it’s funny underwater barfight. There are huge set ups for ½ second long throwaway jokes, bookended by the obligatory midgets and singing horses.
In between the jokes and tomfoolery are several song and dance numbers, where a youthful Val Kilmer gets to do far more singing and dancing than should be allowed – but somehow manages to actually make a decent fist of it!
Top Secret isn’t always funny, it’s hardly ever coherent and plausible and it doesn’t always work. But it tries so hard to that you can’t help but admire the effort. When comedy nowadays is about referencing famous people and news events rather than jokes and setpieces even a flawed try should be admired.
Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. Just drafting this review convinced me to add a 0.5 to the final score. Top Secret is perhaps more admirable for its invention than for its plotline and humour, but since when is actually trying and just barely failing all that bad?
