Chaos (Review)

Needs more Statham…

When a Statham movie can’t stand out from 12 other Statham movies that can’t be a good thing, after all the man is hardly a purveyor of fine arts.

Actually Chaos might stand out a little, but for all the wrong reasons.

Firstly the clumsy plot ripped straight from Die Hard 3 (via Superman 2!) with a tacked on ending that strives mightily to differentiate itself. I guessed the shady mastermind before the opening credits rolled – there was no scene prior to the credits.

Second the dialogue and main elements hug the ‘rugged loner’ cop cliché altogether too closely, leading to scenes where Statham’s character is belittled publicly for his ignorance of ‘the book’, and another moment an hour into the film where a cop says – and I swear it wasn’t for laughs, I rewound it twice – “It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon” and no-one in the room raises an eyebrow…

Quentin Connors (Statham) is a disgraced cop, suspended from duty after a shemozzed incident that left an innocent dead and his partner fired.

Connors – it doesn’t feel right referring to Jason Statham as Quentin in any circumstance – is called back to the bigs after a violent bank robbery and hostage scenario, where the nameless head honcho played by Wesley Snipes demands he will only talk to Stat Connors.

But before reinstatement there is a catch, Connors must accept a still wet behind the ears rookie named Shane (Ryan Phillippe) as his partner.

Scene set. Connors is supposed to be a dangerous wild card, Shane is supposed to emerge as this investigative genius and prodigy, and Wesley Snipes is supposed to be the memorable over the top street smart criminal mastermind.

Imagine everyone’s surprise when Connors and Shane show up to take Snipes and co down… and the breakthrough case literally blows up in their faces.

Reality check time. Connors is indeed continually referred to as a foolhardy cowboy despite little evidence. To say Statham sleepwalks through this role should have alarm bells ringing given how dispassionate he is even in his better films. Shane is given a backstory and a couple of moments to prove his chops, but the fact is Phillippe is a man who removes a point from the score of every film he appears in, and that doesn’t change here.

Which brings us to Wesley Snipes, who depending on your age will either forever be Willie Mays Hays or Blade (probably Blade, but I love Major League). I have no idea if Snipes was aiming for edgy, or funny, or even possibly insane, but he comes across as what could best be described as unpopular. If I had a friend who cracked this many bad jokes and lingered over every misdelivered line, well let’s just say he wouldn’t remain a friend.

A polite reviewer might say Snipes misjudged his performance, I would say he acts like he thought he would still get paid if he were fired, and wanted some time off…

Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. Chaos is a carbon copy of a million middling action films, and like a carbon copy the positive features are somewhat less distinct and the merits of the film quite blurry.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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