So Close (Review)

Can’t comment without referencing Karen Mok… (bites tongue)

Cory Yuen tries his hand at a Matrix style ‘so hot right now’ eye-catcher in an effort to prove that he is more than a fight choreographer. Might I just say that with this film and The Transporter that Director Cory Yuen proves he is a fine fight choreographer.

Lynn (Shu Qi from The Transporter) and Sue (Zhao Wei) are orphaned sisters who use up to the minute technology, whiz-bang gadgets and movie ridiculousness to right wrongs and take out scum, usually in tight outfits, backed by wind machines and filmed in slo-mo. Being sisters they are loving but competitive, they even have dueling pouts and wear the same skimpy shorts.

After a particularly ludicrous assassination a feisty forensics investigator named Kung Yai-Hung (Karen Mok) is set on the case with her dopey fawning male apprentice always a step behind.

Cue the chase scenes, near misses and girl on girl fights – which are more carefully choreographed progressive stripteases. So Close would be better if it stayed balls to the wall action, but being a film with three girls (and zero balls) on the cover it is deemed
necessary to space out the action with confused feelings, crying, regrets and indecision about life. The only thing more costly than the pristine white suits and skimpy booty shorts is the wire budget, as the girls perform jumps, flips and movements that are aesthetically pleasing but nonetheless the purest of movie nonsense.

And I’ve never seen so many windows shattered so photogenically in a film.

Don’t get glass on your lovely white suit.

There are ideas here but the rest is a mess. Ultimately the ideas are too few and far between so the mess wins by default. (Don’t worry, the ideas will be stolen soon and used in equally bad Hollywood films, or ‘rescued’ by Quentin Tarantino in critically lauded ones – regardless of how good they really are.)

Cory Yuen is like a Dad with a new camcorder who successfully films his kid’s birthday and assumes his next film should be released to cinemas. Seeing as how he is now responsible for this film and The Transporter, I think Mr Yuen should stick to kid’s events.

Oh, and after listening to the atrocious soundtrack to this film I now know who was responsible for The Transporter’s similarly shithouse music. DAMN YOU YUEN!

Final Rating – 6 / 10. I’ll do what most will do after watching So Close and rate the ladies; Shu Qi is cute but has a square Rihanna head, Zhou Wei is cute too… and Karen Mok. Karen Mok. Geez I hope she can act because she stands out like dog’s balls here.