The Machine Girl (Review)

Something about the colourful DVD covers and wonderfully insane back cover blurbs hooks me into these things every time.

Let’s tick them off shall we?

  • Arterial Sprays?
  • Severed limbs?
  • Japanese chickies in school uniforms?
  • Bad CGI?
  • Over the top Special FX?
  • Ummmm… machine gun arms?
  • Ninjas?
  • Dodgy karate to bad music?
  • Ummmm… blood drinking?

“Did he list arterial sprays???”

  • Double ummmm… boiled heads that get vomited on?
  • Eating one’s own severed fingers?
  • Gratuitous panty shots?
  • Throwing stars?
  • Torture?
  • Crappy hair dye jobs?
  • Ummmmmmmmm… rotating steel-bra-drill???


Look I could delve into the plot about a young woman out to avenge the death of her younger brother but as if you give a fuck.

That’s not what will cause your jaw to drop.

That’s not what you’ll be explaining to your buddies the next day.

That’s not what will cause you to look up similar films on the internet. (Likely the only reason you ended up here.)

Machine Girl is one of those schlocky ‘could only emanate from Japan’ tongue in cheek splatter films filled with the usual deliberate ridiculousness and insanity for insanity’s sake.

It is a better than average one, on a par with Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl and Big Tits Zombie, and a step above Robogeisha.

If that ain’t enough I don’t know what else to say.

Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. Credit due for sheer bloodiness and a willingness to embrace the lunacy. No half measures here.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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