Pin (Review)

You’re safe unless you go up the stairs I guess.

Pin is half a weirdly interesting film and half a predictable and boring one; so I’ll spend a bit of time on the first weird half and gloss over the sucky last hour.

Two young children Leon and Ursula live with their rich and ultra-strict parents in a large stately home. Dad is a children’s doctor who uses a creepy dummy named Pin to explain concepts to his patients and the kids – who are not allowed to speak to Pin without Dad’s presence. Mum is a clean freak who goes spare if a speck of dirt hits the carpet.

At the end of each day Dad gives his young kids complicated challenges and sums before bed – a wrong answer means no kiss goodnight. Leon seems to miss his kiss more often than Ursula, and he is none too pleased about it.

Anyway with Dad being a Doc the kids are exposed to some pretty frank discussions relating to the human body using Pin to explain what the future holds for their tiny bodies, including the various “urges” that they will soon face, but the two kids handle this news quite differently. In fact it is Ursula (about 7… ewwww) who looks forward to such a time, checking out skin mags and wondering if her equipment might one day measure up, and Leon who wants nothing to do with the topic. It seems young Leon has no real friends and sees Pin as his best and only bud.

Fast forward many years and it should be no surprise to learn 15 year old Ursula is a fully fledged (and exceedingly hot) jailbait slut, and Leon is the prudish older straight-laced brother. After he breaks up a seedy hookup Leon warns Ursula “Do it again and you can forget I am your brother!”

Too late. A  knocked up Ursula is already pregnant, they summon the courage to ask Pin even though Dad is not present, who says (much to their surprise) that she must deal with it, and not only does Dad get to perform his daughter’s abortion – but he asks Leon if we wants to watch, telling him it might be interesting.

With the confidence gained by a chat to Pin, Leon starts visiting him alone with great frequency for long chats, and when Dad finally finds out he is none too pleased.

Now while this might sound like it is building up to something – this is actually where the movie becomes formulaic nonsense and peters out to a disappointing piffle.

Ma and Pa are killed and Leon moves Pin into the large family home that he and Ursula now dwell in alone. Leon assumes the patriarchal role and the two live in muted harmony for a while. Then Leon starts dressing up Pin and bringing him to the dinner table…

No sir, nothing creepy about that.


The film then settles in to a nonsense fest. Leon spends more and more time with Pin and in between writes his own disturbing version of poetry, Ursula gets a job and finds a boyfriend, and the filmmakers try to make us decide what the fuck is going on. Is Pin real, is he imagining things or are all the main characters nuts?

But it really is never in doubt from the first half hour.

Pin is more disturbing and unsettling, disturbing that anyone thought this was a horror film. It has an incredibly low body count, no gore and very little suspense.

The first 40 minutes of Pin was straight up weird, but then it all got very boring, very fast.

Final Rating – 6 / 10. The only scare I got was when I realised that Leon dressed and looked like a young, straight Justin Timberlake – that was scary.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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