Johnny Mnemonic (Review)

johnny_mnemonic_ver3There are a lot of filmmakers who seem paranoid that the future holds little more than an increasing divide between the rich and the poor.

In this future dystopian environment not only do the poor live in squalor and suffering while the rich have all the money, but the rich have all the Yakuza as well.

In this high tech age valuable and critical information is carried by Mnemonic couriers, essentially human thumbdrives with ports in their neck that enable them to carry up to 160 gb! One of these fleshy USB sticks is Johnny (Keanu Reeves), who boasts a larger than usual capacity to transport codes, data and secrets across the land. Insert joke about Reeves’ cranial capability here.

Only it seems this time Johnny has bitten off more than he can chew with an upload that exceeds his normal ‘bandwidth’, leading to an increased urgency to extract the data and alleviate pressure on his brain. Complicating matters further is the many interested parties who would like access to the information, and would be more than willing to take Johnny’s head along with it if necessary.

Which brings me to the only truly cool part of the film; a bad guy with a thumb mounted laser-whip thing that he can use to eviscerate foes. That’s it for cool though.

Keanu tries the macho quips and dead pan demeanour – two things that hardly play to his strengths. Takeshi Kitano pops up as the Yakuza leader (no doubt fulfilling some filmmaker fanboy fantasy in casting), and Henry Rollins and Ice-T also appear as ‘cool guys in an uncool film’ roles.

Ice-T’s character’s name is J-Bone…

Johnny Mnemonic is a group of semi-interesting individuals doing their best to try to appear interested and engaged, when in reality we all know the unfortunate direction that this is headed from the opening minutes.

They tried the supercool dystopian universe populated by alternative darlings, but it all ends up quite stupid indeed. (Even before Dolph Lundgren arrives as the intense Street Preacher angel of death.)

Final Rating – 6 / 10. The beautiful simplicity of Keanu Reeves’ “Woah” catchphrase is that it can mean so many things. In the case of Johnny Mnemonic it might be “Woah, this is average stuff.”

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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