So it seems we’re still a ways away from giving up on the zombie genre. It’s been common knowledge since Romero kicked things off in the 60s that a compelling zombie flick can be made with minimal outlay and no ‘name’ actors – that doesn’t for a second mean that every low budget tweak to the formula is a classic, even films like this one that are sincere and try hard.
I am sincere in my dream to be an NBA player. I try hard. Real hard. But that doesn’t mean I should bother.
The Battery follows the treacle-paced exploits of a pair of hipsters. No, not hipsters; they play baseball in their spare time. I think hipsters make it a point not to ever sweat…
… a pair of slackers? Again no. I don’t think slackers could summon the energy; and again there’s the baseball thing. These guys love baseball…
… this pair of baseball loving unshaven young men, wander around the near deserted backwoods of post-zombie outbreak America. (A genius move by the way; it stands to reason that sparsely populated areas become sparsely populated with zombies. Less zombies = less makeup effects.)
Few zombies also means less action. For almost an hour we have Mickey and Ben – for these are the baseball dude’s names – wandering around looking for temporary shelter and food. Occasionally they wander far enough to encounter a shuffling zombie (every-day they’re shuffle-ing), but even walking (dead) is faster than shuffling, so these incidents are usually survived by a brisk walk in another direction. This is hardly the ‘walking vs running’ debate. I’d actually much rather that was an issue.
Yet despite this clear advantage our baseball buds still manage to find themselves trapped. For about half the running time of the damn film. At least it seemed that way. The Walking Dead has more zombie kills in any random episode, even after you take into account the unnecessary conversation filler sequences, and the obligatory ‘Rick rustles his kid’s stupid hat even after the kid has been a surly little prick deserving of a flogging’ scenes.
There are so many no-budget independent zombie films. Almost all are more earnest, more personal and more original than the commercial dreck that fills 9 out of 10 cinema released zombie films. Yet still I ask “WHY?”
Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. A film that focuses more on the psychological drain of surviving a zombie apocalypse, rather than the visceral, physical, intestine ripping problems. Because there is apparently at least one guy that wants that to be examined…
