A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III (Review)

Charles SwanCharles Swan the third (Charlie Sheen) is a one man melting pot of style with no substance. So is the film that rocks his name.

Part Elvis, part producer Robert Evans (and a liberal dose of Charlie Sheen himself also), Swan has endured a run of unfortunate events that have seen him dangerously close to a personal freak out. (For my part I kept freaking out that the woman playing his ex is actually not Scarlett Johannson, something I had to remind myself of every second she popped onscreen. The resemblance is uncanny.)

Swan runs a design business whose clientele include a Country and Western singing cowboy Kirby (Jason Schwartzmann), a manager named Saul (Bill Murray) and a loving sister named Izzy (Patricia Arquette). All try their darndest to deadpan their way to hilarity as Swan’s imagination and reminiscing comes to life onscreen. All fail dismally.

I think the film tries hard, it’s just that it is so big a mess that it becomes hard to tell if this is someone’s sincere attempt at an opus or some rich kid director taking the piss. Here is a film that really ‘hearts’ Huckabees…

Swan lurches from kooky situation to situation. All the while pining for his Scar-Jo lookalike and trying in vain to craft a character that stands out for reasons beyond being a pale imitation of himself a few years ago. I mean if you’re going to make a film about a rich handsome douche having a monumental meltdown, why cast the guy with the most famous personal flameout in recent history? I’d actually much rather check out ‘Tiger Blood’, the doco about Charlie Sheen’s real life experiences in 2009 / 2010, than I would want to watch this watery drivel again.

Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. I can now say I have had a glimpse into the mind of one fictional Charles Swan III, and a glimpse was all it took to say I needn’t see any more. Ever.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
This entry was posted in Crappy Movies, Film, Movie Reviews. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.