Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl (Review)

What could possibly go wrong I ask you?

As with everything that takes the decision making out of my hands I am swiftly regretting my decision to take suggestions. Not that I think everyone else has bad taste mind you. Only that precious few share “MY taste”.

Thanks to Super Mario I am now watching Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl, and yes it is every bit as skitzo as the title suggests.

Consider this:

• Decapitation.
• A face stretched off.
• Arms grow to become bloody, bony swords.
• Another decapitation.
• Arms severed.
• A girl’s “private area” perforated and gushing.
• A third decapitation.

And that all occurs in the first 4 minutes of this film!

Cut back to the beginning. It is Valentine’s Day in a Japanese classroom. A class featuring more than its share of freaky-looking students has had its chocolates and gifts confiscated.

They are all pissed. After class a young pretty girl offers a young guy some chocolate, thereby expressing an interest. The young bloke’s self proclaimed girlfriend takes immediate offence to his accepting it.

Once he bites into the chocolate though he is a little perturbed to find it is filled with blood. Kooky.

For some unknown reason the class has several cliques, one a group of wrist cutters who spend their extra curricular hours slashing into their flesh (“Not too deep, never hit an artery!”), another full of wannabe African Americans, replete with full black makeup, horribly out of place afros and plumped up lips. And you only think I’m kidding.

Now the jilted girlfriend’s Dad happens to be a mad scientist with an oversexed nurse as his offsider. He finds that the blood from the chocolate can regenerate life, something that proves handy later on.

To cut to the chase Vampire Girl comes out and explains herself, she wants the guy to accept her blood so they can be together forever, unfortunately when confronted by the ex-girlfriend the ex-GF ends up quite dead. The body is given to the mad scientist Dad who regenerates her and Hey Presto;

Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl

There is more reliance on computer generated imagery here than there was in Avatar. More bodily fluids are spilled in this than in 1,000 porn films, and more limbs are lost than in a Saving Private Ryan marathon.

The film only exists to showcase the lengths Japanese crazy people will go to in order to justify insane gore effects and nutso plot devices, and I guess top that end it is very effective.

Only if you’ve seen one of these things you really don’t need to sit through another, as mild amusement rapidly turns to major bemusement, as the escalating series of WTF? Moments rapidly lose impact and the film inevitably loses steam.

Which is exactly why the filmmakers were right in showing the climactic showdown in the very first scene, otherwise by that stage few would care.

Final Rating – 6 / 10. The whole thing is very severed tongue in bloodstained cheek. That doesn’t really mean it’s very good, but as a curio it is at least interesting.

Thanks Super Mario! I think…