Elektra (Review)

elektra_ver2A ninja assassin for hire. An expert at stealth and killing silently. A master of remaining undetected, despite her attire of choice being a bright red leather sports bra with matching tight pants, that must have squeaked like buggery while her katanas (I think – little swords anyway) make that *shing* sound as they slice nothing but air…

Look on the basis of Daredevil I find it amazing that anyone found reason for this indescribably dull spin off. A film that somehow finds itself marginally better than its predecessor ‘thanks’ to being unfathomably lazy.

It is when Elektra (Jennifer Garner) is asked to kill a precocious teen girl and her father that some naughty ninjas called The Hand become upset with her. And here I thought all ninjas were nice and they all got along with no problems.

Among The Hand’s crew are a giant, a shape-changer, a woman with the touch of death, no a bunch of randoms even less memorable; remarkable given I totally forgot about the first three until I just went through my notes. If that isn’t enough, the randoms are so very inconsequential that their very deaths leave no remains, instead they simply explode into clouds of green dust when struck a mortal blow.

Ridiculous. And not even good ridiculous. Funny ridiculous. The funny ridiculous of a competent spoof or even the inadvertent ridiculous of B movies that are funny because of their inadequacies.

This is just regular, boring ridiculous, as Elektra inevitably decides to protect the girl and make goo goo eyebrows at the dad as the evil ninjas pursue them inexorably and fight this red leather clad firebrand quite ineffectually.

There isn’t an instant of excitement, nor a moment of exhilaration to be found. Just contrived and clumsy messages and badly faked tension.

Oh and I forgot the bad guy who sends a stream of CGI generated snakes, hawks and wolves at Elektra, all of them borne of his many tattoos. I forgot to tell you that because I forgot he existed, and frankly I am slightly saddened at the recollection that he in fact does.

Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. Elektra the film is like the red leather outfit; shiny, ill fitting and ill conceived. This is indeed a worthy companion piece to the equally execrable DareDevil, with the two pack DVD undoubtedly sold in the gift shops of Hell.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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