And of course it has come to this; a mildly catchy title. One cabin. Six teenagers who are either obnoxious, talentless and generally unlikable – or – obnoxious, talentless, generally unlikable and frequently nearly nude. Some bad puppets (like, really bad puppets). Some mediocre gore effects. And zero inspiration.
I have a running joke with my eight year old. I give him increasingly impossible maths questions; 156 multiplied by 377, then before he can break his brain even trying to work it out I add “multiplied by zero”. At which point we all roll about laughing and I head to the bottle shop.
Zombeavers is all of the crap in the first paragraph multiplied by that Zero inspiration. Sure there is still gore, and there are still tits, and to some watching beavers (even crappy puppet beavers) go buck wild might serve as a momentary distraction from an unpleasant existence, but this is a nothing film.
And yet I watched it. And will probably watch DracuLizards, the film about geckos with a thirst for blood…
Final Rating – 5 / 10. Another film where the score given will rise as the age of the viewer decreases.
