Luckily love is blind…. and stupid.
I watched this after I caught the tail end of a Flight of the Conchords episode.
I love Flight of the Conchords. Everybody does. It is witty, understated, warm and quirky in about the 1% of that word which is enjoyable, I normally hate forced quirk.
So I watched my FOTC episode and heard that Jemaine and Bret had decided to call it a day on the series rather than risk repetition, like most fans I am always annoyed when I hear something I enjoy is over, but would likely be the first on the “hater’s bandwagon” if I thought someone overstayed their welcome or became stale.
I am nothing if not complex.
So to investigate whether the rumour was true I consulted everybody’s favourite reference the internet and imdb’d FOTC, to find what I always find: a mix of uninformed idiots, informed idiots, trolls and the worst kind of poster, the guy who corrects everyone’s grammar, tells everyone why their opinions are wrong and then says he hates the show….
And one post that said “Oh well if it is over I will just go back and watch Jemaine in Eagle Vs Shark over and over again.
Eagle Vs Shark ehhh??? And away to the video store we go.
(I’m going to go Alien Vs Predator (AVP) style here and go with EVS.)
EVS is the New Zealand version of The Castle, or maybe Bottle Rocket or even Napoleon Dynamite, whichever one you pick (and Bottle Rocket is my favourite of the 3 by far) they were simple movies that told stories with no real plot and relied on the eccentricities and (dreaded) quirks of the characters to provide interest.
Where does EVS fit in the scheme of things? Near the bottom of that brief list unfortunately, I might sneak it in around Nacho Libre as just another wannabee.
Disclaimer: Because the film was made in New Zealand and I am Australian, I have a self imposed three NZ accent joke limit. Let’s see how I go shall we?
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A reminder, there is precious little in the way of plot, this is a quirk driven affair, but such as it is this is what happens…
Lily is a fast food chick out check, she is unpopular and socially awkward, yet despite that wants to be cool and popular, she has a crush on local video game shop worker Jarrod (Jemaine) who for some reason thinks he is too cool for school.
Lily lives at home with her even more nerdish brother Damon, who sees himself as an amazing impersonator, giving deadpan (and horribly wrong) impressions of Arnie, Austin Powers etc. More amazing is that Lily also thinks he is hilarious and spot on. Seriously how quirky is that!?!
So we move on and ultimately Lily finds herself at a party thrown as Jarrod’s house where everyone goes dressed as an animal, Lily goes as a Shark, bet you’ll never guess what Jarrod is! As the night progresses all the guests pit themselves against Jarrod in a Mortal Kombat style video game, for whatever reason Lily is equally good at the game and is the only guest worthy of Jarrod’s medd skellz, but she throws the game rather than annoy him.
Shortly afterward they are alone at last, ivreetheng ez awkward and they have six, from which point they are sort of a couple.
To jump ahead of the tedium and answer the inevitable question: “Yes, but is Jemaine funny?”
Yes and no, you can really see the FOTC seed being planted, especially in the early scenes, and he does have the best two lines in the film, (possibly the only two actual good lines). In one scene he is asked how many girlfriends he has had and replies “5… actually 8… I forgot some”, and later on he dumps Lily and screams to no-one in particular “Dammit! Why am I so complex?”
Jemaine and Lily are so pathetic that they probably deserve each other, Jemaine is a 12 year old in a 30 year old body, desperately wanting to be needed, respected and idolised at the same time, but unable to deal with it when it happens. He is simply not mature enough to have anyone who relies on him. Lily is also pathetic, although well meaning and unfortunately almost accepts the role as Jarrod’s doormat even though she shouldn’t.
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I went to school with 2 Jarrods, each of them interesting yet stupid in their own way, and both blissfully ignorant at just how dopey everyone else thought their claims and bragging were.
I think everyone knows or at least knew a Jarrod, only most of them grew up and moved on.
Jarrod is:
– the guy that brings ninja stars (made out of tin) to school and tells you how he could be arrested if he is caught.
– The guy that wonders openly if a bear could kill a leopard, or if two possums would kill a rabbit.
– The guy who claims he can lift a barrel filled with sand and who doesn’t play sport but throws karate kicks at shadows and leaves.
I tried in vain to show just how uncool Jarrod was in his attempts to be cool and came up empty, in short he is a less cool Napoleon Dynamite wannabe.
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Rather than go on about how quirky things get, (Jarrod and Lily go to his hometown so Jarrod can beat up a Samoan guy that bullied him at school, that old chestnut again), I wonder if the success of movies like Napoleon Dynamite and similar films has lead to some laziness in low budget filmmakers. Everyone now just wants to show how wacky and zany situations can get when they are shown in deadpan mode, with slightly offbeat characters taking the place of plot, action and most of all jokes.
I watched Funny People recently and while I didn’t think it was that crash hot at least it tried to be funny, (it failed though in the main). What I am getting to is that unless you have a few jokes or allow something of interest to happen rewatchability suffers. I would rather watch Groundhog Day or Major League 57 more times each than sit through Napoleon Dynamite again (after the karate instructor scene is over at least).
Now I’ve watched EVS I am content to know I don’t have to wonder if it is worthwhile ever again, because I know it isn’t.
Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. Breathe easy “The Castle”, your crown has not been taken yet. Quirk on!
