Your makeup is a little smudged love.
The Long Pig is a restaurant catering to weird in a film that purports to do the same for movie-goers.
The restaurant owner targets a niche market yearning for S&M, oddball craziness and the taste of human flesh. His girlfriend lusts for power and tries to placate her man with constant sex. Some local martial artists find themselves in a life and death struggle to avoid becoming ‘Number 27 with black-bean sauce’, while a rival restaurateur arrives to steal secrets and/or propose a merger.
With so much activity in the red hued halls of the Long Pig, including nudity, violence and all kinds of miscellaneous weirdness, you could be forgiven for wondering why nothing is actually going on. This comes across as Canadian Troma, proof that the filmmakers north of the US will do anything for attention lately.
It is like an eighty minute over-acting contest punctuated with shitty martial arts and nudity borne from a patently obvious desperation for attention. In fact all the film wants is attention. It thinks it can do it by being different, then steals ideas from Big Trouble in Little China, various Japlunacy and sets it against a Hostel backdrop.
It will ultimately fail to grab your attention, and depending on your saturation point with this calculated exploitation, it might warrant either your disgust or pity…
Final Rating – 5 / 10. This is one feed that I have had my fill of. And then some.
