OK deep breath. This will sound harsh but believe me it isn’t.
City Hunter is not only Jackie Chan’s worst film – at least of those in the golden 80s and 90s – by a country mile, it is also in worst 2% of films that I have seen in 20 years.
Jackie plays detective Ryu Saeba, who loses his partner in the opening scene. His partner is the lucky one, the rest of the cast had to stay for the duration of this shitty flick.
The plot concerns nothing that makes sense aside from some bad guys are on board a cruise and plan to rob the thing, and Ryu must stop them.
The thing is that City Hunter tries so hard to be a slapstick comedy, only every single joke in the film sucks so bad that it is truly embarrassing.
Setting aside the gay-bashing jokes “I hope you get AIDS!” as a relic of a less understanding era, there is a recurring joke that every time a woman holds up a pistol she falls over due to the weight of her tits, (I looked, it shouldn’t have happened), Ryu is always hungry, which is also hilarious and is played for laughs.
There are numerous bad guys with big muscles and bad hair running around, they say stupid things in such a hammy manner that I waited for a “Wah-Wah-Wahhhhh” trumpet to denote the merciful end of the scene like a 50s Daffy Duck cartoon.
I hate this film for the black mark that it will leave on Jackie’s career, even though probably no-one else will give a shit. He has such a shining resume that from the mid 80s to The Tuxedo in the early 2000s there were less successful films, but nothing like this trash. (And if The Tuxedo, which sucked almost as much and I will get to, was the worst thing that he made you could use the “yeah but he was in his late 40s when he made that!”)
With City Hunter all you can say is everyone involved should be ashamed. The scriptwriter should be shot, the director should be shot twice, and whoever financed the thing should be shot, cut into little pieces and force-fed to Amy Winehouse.
1/ Are there any “WOW!” fights?
No. Only the final fight is even slightly good, and it is only OK.
2/ Are there any “WOW!” stunts?
Jackie runs down an exploding hallway and flips over a barrier to a lower level. Cool but wasted in this trash.
3/ Which Jackie is it? Serious / Whimsical / Cocky…
Hammy, horny and misguided.
4/ Does he get to use Jackie-exclusive toys?
I thought no until a custom made Mitsubishi appeared in the final scene.
5/ Do stolen relics come up?
No. Even they have the sense to stay away.
6/ Are there hot chicks (that usually can’t act)?
Yes in abundance, but they are more notable for the bad acting than the hotness.
7/ Is there a blooper reel over the credits?
Yep, a crap one.
8/ Were there injuries on the shoot? Severity?
No.
9/ Has he still got it?
Yep, he just left “it” at home.
10/ Is it a “Jackie Chan” film, or just one he is in?
NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a Jackie film! NOT a…
Final Rating – 4.5 / 10. Not only the lowpoint in Jackie’s CV by so far it isn’t funny, this would fit comfortably in a Rob Schneider marathon!
