Monthly Archives: February 2014

Upstream Color (Review)

Many years ago Primer showed that writer / director / actor / etc Shane Carruth had a knack for making the confusing interesting. You didn’t understand what the hell was going on in his no-budget sci-fi story, but it sure … Continue reading

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Apocalypto (Review)

As Apocalypto would have you believe, the Mayans are just like you and me. They love a joke – especially one related to their genitals – and every day is a laugh riot. I mean look at the massive 2012 … Continue reading

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Asylum (Review)

Either Madison wears blinkers or Asylum is a very lazy horror movie. The fact is that within 15 minutes of moving to a new campus she has already met everyone that she will ever meet or speak to over the … Continue reading

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Cutthroat Island (Review)

1668. With his dying breath Captain Adams gives his section of a map leading to buried treasure to his grand daughter Morgan (Geena Davis). The fact that the map section was tattooed on his scalp brings a great many unavoidable … Continue reading

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Mud (Review)

His name is Mud. He initially appears near his hideout – a boat in a tree – to two young teen boys with aspirations of making the deserted boat their own. Don’t worry, the film isn’t nearly as quirky as … Continue reading

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Sexy Killer (Review)

Barbara is equal parts princess and psychopath. Equal parts vacuous Kardashian and vicious killer. A butcher behind a Barbie exterior. Barbara is a university student who loves fashion mags, jewellery, nice clothes, cute boys and all things murder. It is … Continue reading

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D-Tox – AKA Eye See You (Review)

Molloy (Sylvester Stallone) is an experienced FBI agent with a string of successes and high profile collars. Yet he is low on ideas and patience with his current prey, a serial killer who targets cops, then taunts his pursuers with … Continue reading

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Conan the Barbarian 1982 & Conan the Destroyer 1984: Two shirtless reviews

Given what follows it is quite amazing that Conan the Barbarian opens with a quote from Nietzsche. When Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones in a Jessie J wig) lays waste to young Conan’s village and leaves him holding the hand … Continue reading

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‘Hollywood Mega-Star’ Movie Demerits: Kate Beckinsale

Many respected and highly paid professions require their practitioners to be highly skilled and reliable at performing the basic aspects of the craft. In fact it is fair to say that the better remunerated the profession the greater the expectation … Continue reading

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