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Category Archives: Arnie Schwarzenegger
B Movie Haikus: File Under – ‘Gimmicks’: Twins / Snakes on a Plane / The Beaver
So this time around I thought I would check out a few films where the poster tells you a lot about what you might be in for. In the case of these three films while there might be truth in … Continue reading
The 6th Day (Review)
It is the future, and actually a well realised one, with several creative touches that have this film on par – at least stylistically – with Total Recall. Adam (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a helicopter pilot for a charter firm specialising … Continue reading
Posted in Arnie Schwarzenegger, Film, Movie Reviews, Superstars, The Grey Area
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‘Hollywood Mega-Star’ Movie Demerits: Arnold Schwarzenegger
The following is a transcript of a meeting that took place between Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Power Brokers of Hollywood in 2003, shortly after the release and subsequent commercial apathy that greeted Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. “Good morning … Continue reading
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The Last Stand (Review)
In his first real film in a decade Arnie returns as Ray, the sheriff of Sommerton, a small town near the Mexican border. While as an 80s and 90s teen I welcome Arnie back to where he belongs, but I … Continue reading
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Predator Trilogy Review
The following reviews were actually completed over the period between 2010 and 2012, which might explain things if I make the same points or (alleged) jokes. It might also be my excuse for any references to days gone by and … Continue reading
Jingle all the way (Review)
For 15 years Jingle all the way was nothing more than a recurring punchline to an occasional skit on the Conan O’Brien show. I wish I could still say that. Instead I must admit that I took the bold and … Continue reading
The Expendables 2 (Review)
The Expendables burst out of the retirement home in 2009, with a cast of the who’s who of action – 20 years ago, who despite the ravages of age rocked huge biceps and tiny ‘roid influenced testicles. Unfortunately its steadfast … Continue reading
In defense of… Sylvester ‘Sly’ Stallone
For over four decades almost every Sylvester Stallone film has been derided by generations of critics, precious few having anywhere near the longevity that Sly himself can claim. Some of this lambasting is warranted (Stop of my Mom will shoot!?!), … Continue reading
Collateral Damage (Review)
The ‘collateral damage’ of the title refers to firefighter Gordon Bruer’s (Arnie) wife and child, who are killed in an act of terrorism by Colombian guerrilla and all around prick ‘El Lobo’ – or The Wolf. After some grieving time … Continue reading
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End of Days (Review)
It is 28th December 1999. New York City. 3 days before the New Year. Three days before the New Millennium. 3 days before Y2K… Well 3 days before the New Millennium at least. A newborn child is taken immediately after … Continue reading
Posted in Arnie Schwarzenegger, Crappy Movies, Film, Movie Reviews
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