Category Archives: B Movie Haiku Reviews

A revolution in achieving brevity in dodgy cinema reviews.

B Movie Haiku Reviews – Snake edition: Hisss / Anacondas / Mega-Python Vs Gatoroid

This month I noticed a couple snake-related titles in my queue and decided to go with my first ‘themed’ B Movie Haiku issue. There are millions of snake related films made over the decades (probably not millions but lots) and … Continue reading

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B Movie Haiku Reviews – File Under: ‘Unnecessary’ – Death Race 2 / Gothika / Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Odd month. I temporarily gave up on finding the forgotten or unheralded masterpiece for a while. This should have meant more time to watch truly great films and entertaining movies from my own collection – and it did – but … Continue reading

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B Movie Haiku Reviews – Dolemite / Willard / Showdown in Little Tokyo

Let’s get straight into the last month’s 5 hours of ocular torture. Dolemite From my (thankfully now exhausted) list of classic exploitation films we have Dolemite. Dolemite is a fat, black violent pimp who spouts poetry and is wrongfully targeted … Continue reading

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B-Movie Haiku Reviews – Bikini Girls on Ice / Class of Nuke ‘Em High / Death Race 2000

Here we go again! Nine mediocre lines describing three very mediocre movies. Bikini Girls on Ice Screams pointless teen nudity doesn’t it? At least it did to me… Plot Overview Some cray-zee dude at servo Kill-in’ all who show Where … Continue reading

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B-Movie Haiku Reviews – Dark Star / Coffy / Foxy Brown / Lake Placid 3

Check here for the drill, let’s get into the 17 syllable version of some of the crap I watched recently! Dark Star Before John Carpenter started prefacing his films with “John Carpenter’s Something from Somewhere”, he was a creepy looking … Continue reading

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B Movie Haiku Reviews – Single White Female 2 / Road House 2 / Zapped Again

Last week I put forth the case for the existence of B-Movies and their value to society, especially guys with spare time on their hands. I knew that I need to acknowledge the B genre, and I promised to myself … Continue reading

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The Case for B-Movies

Last month I realised that I had so many reviews backed up for shitty films that I momentarily stepped back and wondered if I had been deliberately watching bad movies – something I have sworn not to bother with. After … Continue reading

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