What Lies Beneath (Review)

"Must. Leave. This. Cinema."

“Must. Leave. This. Cinema.”

This overlong, under-scary and generally disappointing flick was dull the first time I saw it and not at all memorable.

So stupid old me read an article that claimed it was one of the better horror movies of the decade so far, wondered if I actually had seen it or was imagining it, and watched all 130 minutes of yawn inducing nonsense again.

Damn it!

Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer are married. Good for them. Especially Harry, as Pfeiffer was one of the hottest things going in her 20s and is still pretty schmick here.

There daughter Caitlyn heads off to college, and is never seen again here. Mum Claire is a little empty-nested and at a loose end, in a massive big beautiful home on the lake that was apparently an inheritance from Norman’s (Ford) father. Norman meanwhile is a successful scientist toiling away in his late father’s shadow.

I had a page or so of notes, but at the end I wrote down these two sentences which I think adequately sum up the whole thing:

“Early on you give it more credibility than you should because of Pfeiffer and Harry F. Ultimately it’s a cheesy piece of ho-hum with too many hokey bits asking for leaps of faith that the film does not earn.”

There are red herrings, stereos turn on randomly, a photo keeps falling down, and a door opens, apparently the house is poorly maintained and in need of renovation.

You start to wonder if Pfeiffer is a little nutso, and in fact she goes to a psychiatrist that obviously begins to wonder the same thing.

Make no mistake that good or bad (mostly bad) this is Pfeiffer’s movie, a lot of the time she is alone in the house, creeping around tentatively to see what that noise was, or where that steam is coming from?

The ending of the film wants so desperately to be BIG, SHOCKING and SIGNIFICANT, but it isn’t really any of those things. It is 2 solid hours of next to nothing with only minor reveals and tacky shocks to keep the viewer on the hook, I normally have an allowance of one cheap scare for most movies, two if it is a really good movie, I counted no less than 5 in What Lies Beneath, each one more hokey than the last.

If you’ve seen What Lies Beneath, you’ve already blown 130 minutes, that’s why I only committed you to about 2 minutes of your lives reading this.

Final Rating – 6.0 / 10. While everything just seems so competent, after the payoff, (such as it is), the credits roll and the disappointment at having blown the last 2+ hours begins.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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