Sleeping Beauty (Review)

The movie is called Sleeping Beauty.

Women who watch might call it Stupid Beauty.

Guys will see it as Sleeping Booty.

I see it as an amazing feat for star Emily Browning, who managed to segue effortlessly from her role as the scantily clad pouting idiot in the execrable Sucker Punch into this. The film that I would choose Sucker Punch over.

Hang on, I just threw up in my mouth.

By day Beauty is an everyday teen, juggling school and multiple part time jobs and supplementing her income with submitting herself as a test bunny for medical and/or scientific research, (apparently into how long a woman can have a tube in her mouth without vomiting). She is apparently so busy that she never sees the Australian sun – albino Eskimos have better tans than Emily Browning.

Personal relationships seem fleeting at best, and generally see Beauty placating various people, an alcoholic (possibly abusive) mother, a friend with addiction, and more mundanely flatmates by coming up with the rent on time and doing some cleaning.

By day she is known as Lucy.

The evenings are spent with casual drinking, drug-taking and prostitution…

After responding to a classified as Beauty finds what she sees as a promotion. No longer casual and freelance, she now gets to wear a uniform and serve clients – only her uniform is by no means in the Macca’s style, and her clients are little more than rich old pervs.

By night she is known as Sara.

‘Sara’s’ boss/madam/pimp is Claire. Claire is prim, proper and demanding. The customer is always right, regardless of how messed up or creepy he is.

The work is well paid but sporadic, but Beauty doesn’t do it for the money. In one scene she casually burns a $100 note and watches it crinkle and melt without emotion. The ‘job’ involves nudity and submitting oneself to potential abuse and ridicule, but Beauty doesn’t do it for titillation, satisfaction or compulsion. She just seems to do it. In fact, half way through the film I thought a better title might be The pasty girl who never says no. The phone rings, she answers, and with monotonous frequency heads of immediately at the caller’s bidding.

Whether the director meant this to appear empowering or pathetic is beyond me.

Regardless of intent eventually Beauty finds another promotion, essentially becoming little more than the world’s largest Pillow Pet for essentially the same clientele.

We learn practically nothing about Lisa/Sara/Beauty. The film has little music, minimal dialogue and moves at a languid pace like melted icecream down a kerb, but I would argue watching this is more of a tragedy than dropping your Drumstick.

Then with a scream it all finishes, and you wonder why.

Keep your artsy. Save your fartsy for another day. To me this is 100% uncut dull and pointless fare. Sure we have an up and coming Hollywood starlet shedding her clothes frequently, apparently this is challenging, daring and mesmerizing.

I just wonder how challenging, daring and mesmerising it would all be if – how you say? – a more natural woman was in the lead. Say the girl from Precious instead of Casper’s sister…

Final Rating – 4 / 10. This isn’t art. This isn’t poetry. No-one learns lessons. No-one is better for the experience. What it is is a drab two hour exercise in making beautiful female nudity distasteful and unlikable. If anything that is perhaps the film’s crowning – and only – achievement.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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