“Kiss the rings Bitch…”
Even with the better adaptations over the years I’ve never felt the urge afterward to head off and look up the back catalog of comics, the source material that helped make the film such a success. Green Lantern – which I will forever confuse with Green Hornet – is one case where I can’t help but think that would be better as a comic.
I can definitely see how Green Lantern could be a striking comic *ahem* graphic novel, the brightly coloured interstellar action bursting off the panels with movement lines trailing, the unique and diverse range of alien beings, the strangely comforting sameness of knowing that whatever the odds our hero will triumph with a panel to spare so that he can stare out towards the skies with an associated deep quote about how ‘this is not the end, only the beginning’…
Cos you see bright, garish and formulaic works well in comic book form, but I doubt any comic book fan over 14 will be so forgiving when it comes to the cinematic Green Lantern. The one with the lazy plot, frankly dodgy CGI, a bargain basement ‘star’ in Ryan Reynolds and a mediocre cast of familiar nobodies.
‘But Geoffrey Rush is in it!’…
…‘Yes but as the voice of a fucking alien fish!’
The rest adheres carefully to the tried and tested just enoughs, a handsome everyman comes into powers that transform him, at the same time another more unique individual finds himself changed also – is it for the better or worse? Let’s wait four minutes and find out – and a female love interest is there to be put in peril in some way.
The everyman is Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a military test pilot forever changed after a coincidence meeting with a dying alien who grants him a power ring.
The government finds the deceased purple alien and promptly declares that this is the first seen on the planet, nonetheless apparently we are lucky enough to already have a xenobiologist capable of studying the corpse, which begs the question, if this is the first alien ever seen what exactly was the alien researcher researching to give him the qualifications? Anyway the slightly odd guy is Hector Hammond (Peter Skarsgaard). He gets powers too. Powers that make him look like the kid from Mask.
Hal Jordan was previously a selfish hothead prick who was less than doting on his girlfriend Carol Ferris (Blake Lively). Post ring ceremony he becomes a sensitive and thoughtful guy, with superpowers.
The ring is an all purpose cheat code for life and dealing with nefarious foes, just possessing it gives Jordan muscles, vast knowledge (including languages) and new abilities including flight and the capability to simply ‘will’ things into existence. The only drawback is that on occasion the ring needs charging, so it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows I guess…
In an orientation course on a far planet called Oa Jordan learns that there are thousands of Green Lanterns stationed all over the galaxy – though they always seem to be in Oa and not on the job – his fish-man tutor shows him the ropes before he is introduced to a couple of characters with recognisable voices who seem to be there more for the voice behind the character than the character. He learns that the colour green is the colour of ‘will’, and that it is with his will that a true Green Lantern saves the day, that and the magic ring that creates weapons and stuff. Apparently yellow is the colour of ‘fear’. Fear is bad
“Is that… Bruce Wayne?”
Back on Earth Jordan uses his pointless mask that makes him look just like Ryan Reynolds in a mask, and is amazed when his own on/off girlfriend of many years recognises him after only a minute or so.
I’m amazed it took more than a glance.
By the way the mask never seems to be needed again.
Jordan is up against an almost planet sized evil being called Parallax who is hell bent on being naughty, and in between he is faced with the lumpy headed Hammond for a couple of let’s both throw things around a bit with each taking turns at having the upper hand. Miscellaneous large things are tossed about with much property damage but no real danger, and of course things are set up for the inevitable sequel.
Reynolds does his ‘look down, drop an eyebrow and say something allegedly witty and sarcastic in mock seriousness’ thing a lot, Skarsgaard seems to be channeling John Malkovich’s speech patterns and tone, and Blake Lively is attractive enough, but never actually Lively enough to be compelling. (To be fair she is given a role that requires her to only stand around and wait to talk to the lead characters without injecting anything into the story.)
I’m positive that this would all make for a pretty cool and effective colic book in the right hands, here it is just the latest in a string of poor to middling superhero films. This isn’t the worst, and boys 10 – 14 might like it.
Final Rating – 6 / 10. I’m not sick of superhero movies. I’m tired of shitty mediocre ones.
P.S. When Green lantern was released in the US last month Pop Culture columnist Bill Simmons wrote about how Ryan Reynolds is unfairly set up to fail simply by being given the lead when he really isn’t a bona fide ‘movie star’ and couldn’t possibly carry the film.
I’d take things a step further and say that surely we’re near capacity for superhero characters? A guy with a magic ring as his only differentiator is hardly groundbreaking stuff demanding of its own franchise is it?
