This ‘developmentally challenged Lethal Weapon’ sees nobodies’ dream action pairing of Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell enmeshed in a boneheaded action romp that is as clichéd as it is unnecessary… and it is quite unnecessary.
Doesn’t make it all bad though, but compared to prime time stuff like Lethal Weapon, Red Heat and even Rush Hour this is merely Sunday afternoon filler.
The supposed hook is that Stallone is Tango, the smart and cultured one and Russell is Cash, the slob.
“Duhhh, I yam da smart guy! Right Kurt? I mean Cash…”
It takes but two brief perfunctory sequences – one for each ‘supercop’ – to validate master criminal Jack Palance’s claim that Tango and Cash have ‘wreaked havoc on crime in the city’.
Makes you feel bad for the criminals right?
Well don’t panic folks. They get their shot when in a breathtakingly easy and equally illogical joke of a frame up sees the intrepid duo immediately sent to jail, where they must 1/ escape, 2/ gather evidence and clear their names and 3/ not use the evidence anyway and go out all guns blazing to kill the bad guys.
All that in 40 minutes and you get to see Stallone in a suit! Where do I sign?
Again Tango and Cash isn’t the worst film in the world, but every time I write that I realize that it is so far from being one of the best. The bad guys in particular ‘phone in’ their roles, with Palance in particular hardly ever in the same room as another actor. I am quietly confident that his entire role was filmed in a studio in a few hours.
The action is a mix of decent and laughable – in one scene involving a prison escape you can clearly see a ‘spare leg’ on the crew guy helping an actor push a large bin across a yard.
The film also straight up steals one scene from the Jackie Chan classic Police Story, ‘boasts’ some of the more obvious body doubles in history and has a soundtrack of tracks rejected by Beverly Hills Cop.
Despite these drawbacks Stallone and Russell give it their all, but even though Stallone spits every line like it demands inclusion on the trailer and Russell acts like John Carpenter is directing this was never going to be anything more than ‘another’ buddy-cop film.
Final Rating – 6 / 10. You might chuckle when Sylvester Stallone claims “Rambo is a pussy”, but you’ve still got a loooong way to go before you laugh again… perhaps until you put in another DVD.
