A ‘leak’. Get it?
In the nineties even the biggest of big screen blockbusters were released in the US months before they were even advertised as ‘upcoming’ in other territories. Then the movie pirates started getting copies of them out there, and vacationers returning from all over SE Asia started bringing back bagfuls of bootleg VCDs and ultimately DVDs.
Now movie piracy is so rife that it seems even the smallest unheard of independent movies are but a few clicks away for anyone with a laptop or even a smartphone.
So what has changed? For starters 15 years ago we didn’t have the same urgency to know everything about a film in the months before they came out, in many cases we were just happy enough to watch any movie in the cinema. But now the internet has changed things, along with diminished brain cells and the proliferation of ‘fast-food’ TV and a billion websites hunting hits (OK including this one.)
Now with attention spans at hummingbird wingbeat levels, and moron TV simply not having enough celebrity weddings, divorces, rumours and arrests to go around, they turn to what is rumoured or even barely possible for upcoming movies.
The problem is that everyone knows that the E channel is 99% disposable TV and that who could really be surprised that many of the outlandish if true rumours turned out to be a pile of space filling horseshit? Not me.
But that is not my gripe, what bothers me is the endless stream of spoilers disguised as ‘exclusives’, ‘rumoureds’ and ‘insider revelations’ that seem to precede every even vaguely anticipated film. It seems nothing is sacred any more. Entertainment shows, websites and even the stars themselves are busting themselves to find and release the newest tidbit of info to gain momentary fame and/or attention. While at times this is good (Rihanna has nude photos!), in general terms it sucks.
The most hyped non-cameo
Not only did we know that Mel Gibson was to be the ‘unexpected cameo’ for The Hangover 2 almost a year before the damn thing was even released, we barely had enough time to start musing about the drunken wife-beating and casual racial vilification jokes that would surely result before we found out he was replaced.
Well guess what? Before the film even came out I was over it – even moreso after I saw it, but that’s another story – we already knew it was to take place in SE Asia and that Liam Neeson was to be the cameo, which in the end didn’t even happen.
Now please keep in mind I wrote this next bit months before the film was released: “I know there will be at least one – though probably 5 – ladyboy jokes (I’d put money of Galiafdasfhjgakis actually falling in boy-love), I know a ping-pong ball will end in someone’s drink or open mouth, and I know the naked Asian guy will come back to be naked and ummmm, Asian. All that and I haven’t even seen the preview yet.”
Now you tell me how wrong I was(n’t).
Want more? How about the Wonder Woman photos that were deliberately released to build publicity… ahem, leaked, which clearly showed the young whoever she is star to be busted out all over. Actually no complaints here, I’ll likely never bother with seeing such an obvious crapfest, might as well get a look at the ummmm, milk for free?
On top of this we have the upcoming movie schedules that nowadays have things like ‘Untitled Sam Raimi Horror project’ with a release date in October AND January 2012 – talk about covering your maybe-bases. (That’s real by the way.)
The ‘Coming Soon’ section of Hoyts has been breathlessly informing me for months that The Avengers is coming out in May 2012. That is soon??
Then ‘Leaked’ (the quotes are there to express my doubts as to the authenticity of the leakages) onset photos for almost anything and everything due in the next 24 months, enough rumours about the upcoming Mad Max film to send even mild mannered Mel Gibson into a fit;
- ‘It’s on’.
- ‘It’s off.’
- ‘Mel’s in it.’
- ‘No wait he’s gone fucking crazy again.’
- ‘Exclusive: some guy/gal you’ve never heard of is starring!”
A Mad Max film that isn’t even due to begin filming until next year. Wow. I suddenly don’t care about that film either.
This, along with the ‘Onset and behind the scenes with the makers and stars of ‘Overkill’ (and basically every film released to theatres) is saturating a market with all the news that’s unfit to release, but in any case we’ll hammer it into the ground, recycling it often enough to get a new 60 minute show each day with about 1 minute of new, newsworthy material.
Even the previews are getting previews! Trailers are now so passé, we have teasers, TV spots, Redband trailers (OK I’m a sucker for those – a chance of nudity and I’m in) and to paraphrase one of Moe’s supermodel clubgoers “Moe all this talk is killing my horny”.
Below is but one example of a film I never heard of before 5 minutes ago: ‘The Devil’s Double’ from imdb’s upcoming movie schedule.
THE BUZZ: Despite terrific performances from Dominic Cooper (in a much-discussed dual role) and Ludivine Sagnier and a sense of historical voyeurism that’s confirming and wildly over-the-top in places, the problem here is the presence of Lee Tamahori, whose one-dimensional direction does this film a major disservice (perhaps it’s been re-edited a bit since we saw it at Sundance). That said, Dominic Cooper’s work more than earns the cost of admission.
Ummmmm, that’s about a film that comes out in a couple months. That sounds less ‘the buzz’ than ‘the review‘. Way to tell us the bare minimum to help potential moviegoers make a ticket-buying decision imdb!
The glib reply is to tell me that it is my decision to go to these sites or channels, but it really isn’t. Once a rumour comes out then the TV picks up on it, websites trumpet it all over, and the 99% that didn’t actually uncover the /fact/rumour/thing merely link you to the one site that did “Look we’ll welcome the hits but we’re by no means responsible for this.”
But I remain betwixt and between, I want to know what movies I can begin looking forward to, but at the same time I share the ideal of Roger Ebert who apparently doesn’t watch any trailers for fear of knowing too much or pre-reviewing the film. But I guess in Mr Ebert’s case he knows he will eventually watch pretty much 90% of what is going to come out anyway, it’s kinda his job.
While it’s an admirable aim – I can recall vividly how cool The Descent was due to the fact that I had no idea about the film I was about to watch – but the fact is I already have a real job and don’t have the time nor the patience to deliberately sit through movies where there is a 0% chance of me finding enjoyment. So each week I spend time on rottentomatoes and imdb sifting and perusing, I pay attention to the cinema previews for more info, often getting home to check out some of the basics of movies that seemed worth a look, the director’s CV and the main quotes from reviewers and such.
Now even that task is fraught with peril, it seems amid the tenuous links to ‘celebrity’ – “Brad Pitt’s 6th grade Teacher’s butcher busted with pot! (We ask a source that knows Brad if he saw the signs!)” that my only two go-to movie websites are becoming just as guilty of posting rumours, possibles and maybes in lieu of actual movie news.
From here on in I will endeavour to consult the web on a more limited basis – at least regarding new movies. Might I suggest the following order to things be adopted industry wide?
3 months from release.
Overkill is coming out. Directed by John Smith, starring Fred Jones and Sally Chan. (No more than 2 stars at this stage.)
1 month from release
One trailer is released to cinemas. Stars may mention film only in passing generic terms in interviews, “I’m very excited about Overkill”, “We all had a blast making the film”.By all means start getting the name out there, but don’t give anything up yet.
2 weeks from release
The usual media go around. For Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler this involves the usual self-prostituting themselves on every talk show where they prove ‘desperate fading comedy stars will say and do the darndest things’ to flog their latest crapfest to an increasingly skeptical public. Bus stop and bus posters can go up. (Please take them down within a few weeks, Sucker Punch was advertised in Australia as ‘in cinemas’ almost until the DVD came out!)
1 week from release
TV spots, radio saturation, whatever you want to sell your movie.Go. GO. GO!
Post release
OK now it’s time to let your movie stand up and be counted. From here just STFU and let the movie and the public provide publicity. If it is any good; The Sixth Sense, Source Code, The Fighter, hopefully the reviewers will talk it up enough and sheer word of mouth might force people through the doors. If it actually sucks *COUGH* Sucker Punch, we’ll be saved the desperation ads on TV “Your last chance to discover this hidden gem” – Ummm… No! and post film-flop excuses; “The studio didn’t support us”, “The public were too dumb to get it”.
3 months post release
Ramp up the DVD ads, if someone was dumb enough to wonder why they never heard of it till now let them shill their thirty bucks.
1 month post DVD release
All is fair game. People can talk openly about any twist endings, surprise cameos or basically anything conversation worthy. If you haven’t had the chance to get a ticket, rent or buy a DVD by now, then you can hardly cry foul if you hear a spoilerriffic fact at a barbecue or on a website.
Part of the magic of movies should be that a potential ticket buyer can make a deal or no deal decision based on say two sentences or a 90 second trailer. In that 90 seconds of reading or watching enough information should be passed along to enable that choice –
- From David Fincher…
- Starring Brad Pitt…
- Comes a tale of deceit and murder…
- A Romantic comedy from the guy who made The Notebook…
- Nominated for 7 Oscars…
That should really be it, and for me it often is. (‘In’ for the Fincher film. ‘Maybe’ for the Brad Pitt. ‘Probably not’ for the deceit and murder. ‘No fucking way’ for the rom-com. And finally ‘Maybe if it isn’t the hideously overrated Black Swan’ for the Oscar winner.)
This is perhaps a bit of soapboxing seeing as my website is hardly full of exclusives or this just in’s, and is as a friend tells me ‘A site that discusses the creativity and achievements of others, without any creativity or achievement from the writer’. But in an industry where both creativity and achievement are at a premium.
I think that retaining some of the mystery of movies is perhaps more important than ever, and maybe instead of cramming every useless fact down our throat months – even years – prior to the film being released, we get a little credit and just for a while are left to our own devices to choose for ourselves.
P.S. I was reminded after writing this that attempting to quell pre-release hype is just as tricky. The Muppets film had many cameos and stars sign confidentiality agreements strictly limiting what they could and could not discuss with the media.This seemed to anger the media beast, leading to a low down and dirty campaign to uncover anything about the film.
Might I remind you that this is a film about talking puppets that include a pig and frog?
Or is that saying too much? …
OGR
