Red Canyon (Review)

Hate the poster, ditto the film.

Regina and Devin are siblings with a troubled past, Regina is especially haunted by an event that took place 8 years previous in a ‘secret party cave’ near the small desert town of Red Canyon.

Now let’s never speak of this bizarre cover up again…

But that was then and we’ve all moved on. So guess what happens? Regina and Devin join with a group of cheap, pretty and all too happily disposable vacuous teens for a trip in a big red van back to… you guessed it!

Red Canyon.

That is probably mistake #1 right there, especially given that Regina is still deeply troubled by the *unpleasantness* that took place, and in fact still has regular broken flashbacks that punctuate her thoughts.

On the way into town the kids meet with various characters of varying degrees of menace, all there primarily to provoke wonderment as to which one will prove evil and diabolical, and which ones will likely be offed along the way. It seems everyone knows Regina’s story, and some openly ponder why she would return to the very place that the events took place – not least of which was me.

After some dirt bike shenanigans and general teen stupidity, mainly from a tall handsome dude who only seemed to speak in moronic inanities, Regina and crew head back to the very cave that changed her life.

The remainder of the film is only facilitated by a myriad of dumb decision, blatantly stupid mistakes and incredible lapses of logic.

This is one of those films where kindy kids would escape in minutes, but supposedly mature teens flounder inexplicably, doing everything shy of painting bullseyes across their big shiny foreheads.

For example, if just once someone simply turned around, they’d see a bad guy lurking and have the chance to run away. Instead they wander around while we the viewer remind them that homicidal maniacs are in the area, and perhaps glancing about may be beneficial. Other clichés include splitting up to look around, and sending someone for help in the middle of the night because the phones and power are out.

Horror has gotten really lazy.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury: I give you yet another exhibit A.

Final Rating – 4 / 10. I prefer my horror plots to be one extreme or the other: totally outlandish or vaguely possible. Red Canyon tries valiantly to be vaguely possible, but comes unstuck due to the outlandishness of events and decision making, and a total absence of logic.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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