The Devil’s Chair (Review)

Nick West not pictured.

Nick West is a bald (slightly ugly) guy with a boxer’s mug and a potty mouth. Nick West has been accused of murdering his girlfriend in an abandoned mental institution.

Nick West wants you to know the full story, and he is here to tell it… for the better part of 90 fucking minutes.

We see the full version of the initial events, the two twenty-somethings very much in lurrrrve wandering around the vacant and run down facility. We see them come across the old electric chair. We see the twosome taking turns sitting in the chair while t’other performs acts of lurrrrve on them. We see the straps inexplicably clamp down on the young woman before various drills and metal protrusions create new orifices (orifii?) where there were none before – and where no orifice should rightly be. We see the aftermath of the butchered and eviscerated young woman. No longer pretty.

We see Nick West in the asylum for the criminally insane, his home of the four years elapsed since the unpleasantness.

Nick West has come to terms with the fact that he simply must’ve committed the dark deeds some four years prior. After all what else could it have been? A magic electric chair? A usually inanimate portal to another evil dimension? Or is Nick West just fucking batshit crazy?

It is because of this realisation that Nick West is released from the institution; on the condition that he allow a psychiatrist Dr Willard access to tell his fascinating story.

After begrudgingly agreeing Nick West, Dr Willard, 2 psych students (1 hottie, 1 wanker) and Dr Willard’s hottie assistant head off to spend a night in the scene of the… whatever. On the first night the good Dr sheds light into the facilities’ dark past spanning many decades.

Then… stuff happens. Nasty stuff.

Stuff with lots of screaming.

Stuff with lots of blood.

Stuff with lots of gore.

Stuff with lots of profanity (including more usage of the C word than I can recall in one film).

Stuff with lots of Nick West.

Stuff without much of my interest.

I’ll give The Devil’s Chair some points for trying. It had what I guess was a twist – even though realistically there was only about three possible ways that this could have turned out – at least once they chose that ‘way’ they went for it.

The voiceover started before we even saw anything onscreen. And never stopped. I grew tired of hearing from Nick West and about Nick West. Within 10 minutes I had my three possibilities and spent the next 10 minutes waiting for which one they would go with – and unlike The Sixth Sense it wasn’t the fourth option of three. What remains is a nasty little piece of work with little entertainment value, few surprises and not much new or different to bring to the table. Or Chair as it were.

Final Rating – 6 / 10. I have seen Nick West. I have heard his story. That was 2 nights ago though. It is now forgotten. The ultimate ‘meh’ horror movie.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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