Why do they always put Salma sideways on the poster?
If you’re going to make a derivative and lazy by the numbers formula flick at least make the scenery and backdrop look good.
The bulk of After the Sunset is filmed in the Bahamas.
The amazing natural features, pleasant tones and breathtaking peaks, valleys and curves are indeed a worthwhile and pleasing distraction… but enough about Salma Hayek.
Ow, I just hurt my brain.
I flicked through a few quotes after I watched After the Sunset the other night. The best (by far) said “Even with the presence of Salma Hayek the biggest boobs in After the Sunset are Woody Harrelson and Pierce Brosnan”. Quite a few of the rest mentioned her beauty specifically as the only thing (or things) the film had going for it.
I thought about this while was watching the film and only half agree, for while Salma is astonishing to look at and her cleavage should have received a supporting actor credit I actually think she was miscast here. At 5 foot tall if she’s luck and blessed with a near perfect – if gravity defying – hourglass figure Salma is not at home in a bikini, I think a taller woman (eg: Charlise Theron or similar) would be more realistic as the fun loving beach babe in bikinis sidekick to Pierce Brosnan’s smooth and erudite master crim.
| Time to get rid of any perceived bias: If the mythical “Freebie list” actually did exist, the celebrity targets of lust that can be fraternised with without reprisals from the other member of the couple, mine would go like this:1/ Salma Hayek – In the red bikini in From Dusk Till Dawn.
2/ Beyonce – In the denim shorts from the Crazy in Love filmclip. 3/ Charlize Theron – In almost anything aside from Monster really. 4/ Miranda Kerr – A late bolter from the last few years – Great catch Legolas! 5/ Kim Kardashian – After a personality transplant. As much as I loathe everything she says and does it is undeniable that she is a hot piece of stupid. Honourable Mentions: Jennifer Connelly and Christina Ricci. |
Salma has held onto the #1 spot for 15 years so far, seeing her in the bikini, catching some side-boob and generally watching her ass wobble about during the film was of great delight, but I don’t think she was right for the film.
All that said what is After the Sunset about? Well Max (Brosnan) and Lola (Hayek) are master jewel thieves, having stolen some of the most renowned and valuable diamonds in history.
After an impossible and implausible heist in Los Angeles where they hoodwink FBI gem-escort Agent Lloyd (Woody Harrelson) with a hand held remote control device that allows them to commandeer a 4WD with Lloyd in it, the duo head to the Bahamas to see out to their retirement in the luxurious surroundings.
Lola embraces the opportunity and spends her days with a variety of activities, and the nights at dinner with new found friends sourced from her daily adventures. Max on the other hand grows tired of the inactivity and refuses to pick up a hobby. He is bored. (Wait up isn’t he with Salma Hayek? There’s a hobby for the next couple decades right there!)
After 6 months or so Agent Lloyd tracks them down, as the Bahamas are out of his jurisdiction he can’t nab the pair – aside from that he has no evidence anyway – so he basically reintroduces himself to Max and starts stalking them day and night, shadowing their every move. Lloyd seems convinced that Max and Lola are merely biding their time until their last remaining conquest arrives in town, a diamond on display on a local cruise ship in town for one week only.
Don Cheadle pops up as a local crim who thinks Max should steal the diamond for him ‘for the good of the town’ (though the best actor in the film gets only two scenes), and a local hot cop named Sophie appears so Woody has a reason for his name.
You laughing yet?
In essence the film is in three parts, the first ridiculous, the middle likable but bland and the final once again ridiculous. Aside from logic holes and miscasting (I’ve mentioned Salma but Woody Harrelson as a crack FBI agent?) there isn’t much to hate about After the Sunset, but the fact is aside from Salma and the cop Sophie there isn’t much to like.
I just hope all involved got a tan.
Final Rating – 6 / 10. Another Paris Hilton film, pretty and calculating on the outside, but vacant and devoid of substance or intelligence.
