Due Date (Review)

Forced Flair. Yawn.

I was always going to hate Due Date, after all the sequel is rarely as good as the original and this film will be more a sequel than this year’s cash in The Hangover 2 (apparently set in Bangkok). Chuckles ahoy.

Instead of two guys (for most of The Hangover) desperately trying to overcome various obstacles, quirky characters and an obvious third wheel in order to arrive at the wedding in time Due Date has a reasonably sane – but pretty unlikable – guy played by Robert Downey Jr trying to overcome various obstacles, quirky characters and the same obvious third wheel Zach Galifiniakis character, played by… Zach Galifianakis, though this time to shake things up they must make not a wedding but a birth.

Viva la revolucione!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Bleh I already have a foul taste in my mouth, let’s just finish putting the makeup on this pig.

Peter (RD jr) is a well to do architect en route to be with wife Sarah (Michelle Monaghan) in the days before she is due to give birth via C-section.

Due to some ridiculous turns and over-reactions – none of which I can be bothered with here – he loses his wallet and aeroplane privileges and must find a way to get across country to L.A. in the few days left.

“That’s 14 mins 59 seconds Mr Gagglepuss.”

This brings him into the orbit of one Ethan Tremblay (Zack Galapagos), a clumsy, socially inept oaf of a man “with 90 friends on Facebook” (if they all watched this film that number would plummet). Ethan masturbates himself to sleep nightly – not in itself a crime but he even whips out the little Tremblay while a guy is trying to sleep in the passenger seat.

Further chuckles are elicited (allegedly) by Ethan’s travelling companions, a little dog that travels with them everywhere and is so hilarious that I can’t recall a single thing it did, and his deceased father whose ashes ride with them in a coffee can.

Coffee can with dead Dad’s ashes: bet you can’t see what happens to Pa? This thing writes itself!

Anyway Ethan is a dick, he is heading to LA to be an actor and his life’s aim is to appear on Two and a Half Men, he also rocks a perm…

Remember Office Space when Jennifer Aniston’s waitress character had to don a certain number of badges and such termed “Flair”, lest she be deemed not quirky and original enough to work there? That’s this film.

Coffee can with Dad, Perm, drug dealers (wait for it), wannabe actor, constant coincidences and stupid decisions at every term.

I won’t take the easy way out and say “I liked this when it was called Planes, Trains and Automobiles” but is a shameless rip of same, and far, far worse.

More antics involve Juliette Lewis as a dealer in illicit substances, some hijinks with attempting to wire funds involving Danny McBride and still more amusement created by Jamie Foxx as Peter’s longtime bud.

Of course the fact that Peter and Ethan are so mismatched leads to tension and arguments – all with Ethan oblivious to the fact that he may be constantly causing the mishaps – but by the end of the film the pair learn something about each other – and maybe, just maybe, about themselves.

I hated Due Date, I hated Peter at times but REALLY hated Ethan and his ridiculousness. I hated the joyless, laughless gimmickry and I hated every forced interaction with yet another wink-wink cameo character.

The only reason this rated even marginally higher than my pet comedy hate in the last 12 months Dinner for Schmucks was that it was bland for so long instead of totally reprehensible, which it was only perhaps 60% of the time.

Final Rating – 5 / 10. That should be the DVD cover tagline: Due Date – Not reprehensible 40% of the time!

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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