Pootie Tang (Review)

Yes folks. It really is THIS good.

Pootie Tang is either the worst film in cinematic history… or the 5th worst film in cinematic history… I can’t decide.

What it most definitely is – is a casting call of stand up comedians and “it” musicians from Hip-America…

Put more simply: If the following names mean nothing or near-nothing to you avoid this film at all costs, as in reality name recognition has all this film has going for it;

  • Dave Attell
  • Erykah Badu
  • Todd Barry
  • Louis C.K.
  • David Cross
  • Missy Elliott
  • Prince Paul
  • Chris Rock
  • Wanda Sykes

This is a vanity project financed by nothing more than the pull of sheer weight of name numbers – even though after Rock’s name the “Pull” power drops away dramatically (this was before Missy was Massy-ve).

Read what you want into the above statement but I unequivocally stand behind it. This film had no chance to exist were it not for whoever greenlit it’s desire to not piss off Rock and co.

Pootie Tang is some guy who talks in his own unfunny unique lingo – powered by a magic belt – he is a smooth-movin, bullet dodgin’ super-cool good guy. Pootie is a magnetic presence, a 100% proof chick magnet, every guy’s best friend and an eternally – if inexplicably popular – marketing symbol, hugely influential and always on the side of what is good and right.

“A slappa panna too.”

EVERYONE loves Pootie…  but especially Biggy Shorty (Wanda Sykes) – a woman who is mos-def NOT a ho, even though she dances on street corners to unseen musical sources alongside prostitutes whilst scantily clad.

The key plot-point is triggered when Pootie has his reputation and image tarnished when he appears to side with big (naughty) business to endorse damaging products such as hard liquor and cigarettes, things Pootie was previously known to abhor.

Pootie immediately steps away from the spotlight and all society seems to go to hell, with myriad “Pootie-alikes” stepping in to fill his endorsement and spokesman void – all seemingly hell-bent to hawk shit he wouldn’t have previously gone anywhere near.

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Before I tap another key I might point out that even if one microbe of this sounds amusing it really isn’t. The only time I chuckled was when Pootie released a single that featured nothing but silence, only to universal acclaim and chart success – though I immediately castigated myself. Despite comedians I absolutely love including Attell and Sykes this is a laugh-free zone, something I would have thought impossible without watching it myself – twice.

Look. If you think characters called Froggy, Bad bitty, Biggy Shorty, Dirty Dee ( a guy so-called because he revels in being unsanitary), even Pootie tang himself: is funny then there might be something here just for you…

…If you think a man orphaned by a freak gorilla incident spouting nonsensical dialogue – a prime example being “See, my damie, Pootie Tang don’t wa-da-tah to the shama cow… ’cause thats a cama cama leepa-chaiii, dig?”, then you might have a ball with this. Aside from that the most notable thing I can point out is the presence of a young pre-surgery Kristin Bell, and I ain’t talkin’ about her chesticles, her face has had a lot of work since this flick.

Final Rating – 3 / 10. The various elements and names suggest there should be much to note… if not love, the 80 minutes on show dispute this… indisputably.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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