“Yeah, well my hat’s cooler!”
There are heaps of things that franchises try to reignite interest in their films, the inclusion of new hip sidekicks, the return of a character thought dead or just long gone, my personal pet-hate the arrival of (supposedly) cute kids that say the darndest things and plot events that have no relation to the previous films whatsoever “This time… he’s going deep-sea diving!” Whaaaatttt!?!? That or they bring in the long lost relo that they’ve NEVER spoken about before but who suddenly holds they key to everything in the known universe. You know, a brother, cousin, sister…
Father?
Usually these are acts of pure desperation that signal the death knell of the franchise (Revisit the above list and think of Indy 4, you know the one that never happened. Sidekick? Check. Returning character not seen since Indy 1? Check. Arrival of relo never before mentioned? Check. Does things the previous 3 films wouldn’t dare? Check. ALIENS!! Arrival of annoying kid? Check. I’m stopping there because we are talking about a film that never happened, now let’s have no more talk about this bizarre cover-up.)
Anyway back to Indy 3, gosh-darnit if the hackneyed idea doesn’t actually work. Sean Connery returns from never before being spoken of to share in Indy’s adventures against the Nazis and is actually a handy addition, but that comes later.
The first quarter of an hour or so gives us some unnecessary backstory about the origins of Indiana, it explains the whip and the scar on Harrison Ford’s chin in one fell swoop, then the hat and his fear of snakes, again a dicey move, again somehow it works – and the late River Phoenix does a pretty good job and actually looks like a young Harry, probably moreso than any kid he has with that lollypop shaped chick he married, the one that was a lawyer who thought dancing babies amusing.
| A digression: The backstory flashback has become such a lazy laugh device in sitcoms fumbling into their fourth or fifth season:“Oh Chandler looks different to how he does now! Funny.”
“Gosh, he does say that a lot, is that why he started that annoying catch-phrase?” “Chuckles away, he’s fully after that woman but we know he’s totally gay now.” And so on and so forth, simply hint at something that viewers already know and you filled half an hour, sorta like how Dreamworks think pop-culture references are clever. They aren’t clever, just familiar. |
And now back to our regularly scheduled programme.
The Last Crusade has Indy searching for the Holy Grail, as in literally, not just something representing the pinnacle of his profession or the culmination of decades of searching, the ACTUAL Holy Grail. As everyone suddenly knows and just can’t stop talking about for some reason Indy’s Dad has made it his lifelong quest, an obsession. So I guess you could say that the Holy Grail is his holy grail…
But Indy’s Dad is now missing (and has been since the first film but NOW it’s a worry?). Indy goes with his loyal friend Marcus (Denholm Elliot) to Europe – this time, to see if he can pick up the trail.
In this film the woman that is there to be afraid of bugs, snakes and corpses and to scream occasionally in dangerous situations is named Elza, in what must have been a welcome change she also helps Indy get his end away.
There are many chases and near misses, some betrayal and double-crossing and of course the competing group also looking for what Indy seeks that are desperately trying to stop him from finding it.
After practically everyone and the coffee trolley lady sells Indy out he runs into his Old Man being held captive in a castle in Germany, and off they go to have more adventures, but first Indy finds that he has actually had the worst kind of sloppy seconds, his Dad’s – Ewwwwwww.
There are some harmless disagreements and quasi-Father/Son bonding in between chases and explosions, and as in the box we learn things that back up some stuff we already know, but thankfully nothing too cheesy and obvious.
The plot continues on in the timeless Indiana Jones fashion; We need something that they have. Now we’ve got it, run away. I know where we’re going now. Oh they followed us. There it is. Oh now they got it first. Now we’ve got it… haven’t we? I’m confused.
As always only the bad guys are killed, and if someone who seemed good, but turned out to be bad dies they always get to admit they were wrong with their last breath. There are many well timed explosions that seem to catapult bad guys forward and away from the blast while they wave their arms, and many near misses.
Indiana Jones films are the best kind of light entertainment, they are busy, amusing, no-one (good) dies and there is no gore or swearing. As with many action films it isn’t about what they are doing but how they do it, and Indy and Spielberg do it better than almost everyone else, at least until a certain Crystal Skull fucked things up for everyone…
And do they find the thing they were looking for in this film?
(What a cliffhanger to end the review on!)
Forget it, of course they fucking do.
Final Rating – 8.5 / 10. Being second best in a brilliant trilogy ain’t bad… they should have stopped at a trilogy though.
