Black Rain (Review)

Just keep Holdin’ Onnnnnn!

There are a few films that to anyone over 30 scream “Eighties”: The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Stripes and ET among them.

For me Black Rain somehow does the same thing, it has mullets-as-fashion, Japan is on top of the world, guys calling each other “babe” incessantly, terribly self-important rock anthems with titles like “Holdin’ On” (as in “Just keep Holdin’ Onnnnnnnn”), and Michael Douglas at his most surly – meaning his bottom lip is always jutting further forward than the top lip. Sorta like Kobe Bryant when he is trying to be fake-tough all the time… “Grrrr, I’m angry”.

Nick (Micky D) and Charlie (Andy Garcia) are cops charged with escorting a Japanese gang leader named Sato (that they nabbed after a gangland murder) back to Japan for sentencing. Nick and Charlie are great buddies even though they are quite different personalities so it is seen to be more a junket than a case.

In this way it is almost Red Heat but set in Japan, and with less jokes.

Mullet: model’s own.

Nick is a hothead risk-taker with a penchant for motorbikes at high speed. He is divorced, low on cash and under investigation from internal affairs who he feels are targeting him.

Charlie is smooth, slick and eminently likable, I think he is the protagonist that started all the “babe” talk.

Upon touchdown in Japan they meet with the Japanese Police, sign some docs, hand the guy over and prep for a short stay before they fly back home… short movie right?

Nuh-uh, the handover doesn’t go as planned and Nick and Charlie gave the bad guy to fake cops. Why a cop who spoke or read Japanese wasn’t used I’ll never know but that would’ve killed the movie so moving on…

Nick is determined to get his man and absolve himself, awwwww, and you thought the Japanese were proud and principled! A local policeman Masamoto is assigned to “babysitting” the duo – much to his chagrin, although his role more to keep them out of the way of the investigation and the Japanese police treat Nick with contempt because of his role in allowing Sato his freedom.

While remaining on the outside of the investigation Nick and Charlie do a little freelancing of their own, they meet an American hooker in a nightclub that seems to know a lot more things than she lets on, though she does at least tell them that Sato and another Yakuza leader Sugai have been waging a turf war for some time. Hookers – so valuable to society in so many ways.

Being an American-made movie it is Nick and Charlie that discover the war is over counterfeit money printing plates, in fact even though everyone involved actively seeks to keep them out of proceedings it is Nick and Charlie that make almost every significant breakthrough in the case… “for the land of the freeeee, and the home of the, braaaaave” (applause).

The bad guys give the boys the official “get out”, the Japanese police won’t budge an inch and keep reminding the boys they are not required,  and even Masamoto sells them out at one point… but Nick “just keeps holdin’ onnnnnnnn!”… Until a big night out to blow off some steam culminates into a stand off between Charlie and a gang of Yakuza henchmen in a deserted plaza, and when Sato shows up and literally takes Charlie’s head off the revenge factor ratchets up twelve more notches.  We now can guarantee ourselves that Nick will fuck Sato up personally. It is one of the more effective buddy-deaths in cinema.

For obvious reasons Nicks is pissed and he revisits an earlier hideout that came up dry, after venting his frustrations in a physical manner Nick comes up with a clue that leads him to the finale. Being an 80s movie there is no big dramatic twist or an awkward moral imposed upon proceedings, Nick finds where they are, bullets fly, Nick chases Sato and…

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sato is a good cinema bad guy. Forget the fact that he is non-American and therefore scary to begin with (to Americans at least), he is menacing and intense and almost always maintains his cool. Thankfully too is the fact that he doesn’t start yapping away in English half way through the film to let the audience off the hook or so he and Nick can trade quips and one liners.

Masamoto is an honorable and honest foil who holds true to his beliefs, he doesn’t start talking in hip-hop slang near the end of the film or running around Woo-style with two pistols.

Both of those things would happen if the movie was made today. Guarantee it.

But this is a Micky D special, it is his film and he is at his borderline nutso best, meaning you never quite know how he will handle things when he is on edge – will he snap and kill the guy or do the right thing? Is he a good guy with rough edges or a dirty cop? Say what you want about Michael Douglas but he was one of the Big Boys in the 80s, and I reckon this is his best film.

For some reason I get hooked every time with Black Rain, I scoff at the early scenes with chest beating macho idiots and horribly sincere 80s hairband songs, but once Charlie bites it I am in for the long haul and hanging out until Sato cops it.

Final Rating – 9 / 10. Black Rain is drama and action in the right proportions, with sprinklings of humour for good measure. It shows its age but still holds up, it is an awesome 80s film.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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2 Responses to Black Rain (Review)

  1. fat says:

    So Michael Douglas doesn’t get eaten?

  2. OGR says:

    You’re thinking about Basic Instinct my man…

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