The Haunting in Connecticut (Review)

Interesting Poster. Shit Film.

A long, long time ago, before 1989, before even Ghostbusters were invented, existed a house. A naughty house.

Into this house moved a family, with a Mummy and a Daddy named Sarah (Virginia Madsen) and Peter (Martin Donovan) who don’t love each other much anymore. At one time though they did obviously love each other every much, because when that happens the Mummy and Daddy lay together and kids are born. They have three kids so they loved each other at least three times!

And I think they have a nanny or something, I lost interest. In any case there is another young woman who hangs around too.

The oldest boy Matt is very sick and needs to go to the hospital quite frequently, as the hospital is far away that is why the family moved to the new naughty house without doing too much research.

Always look both ways kids.

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As naughty houses do this one starts giving Matt bad dreams, he sees things that he doesn’t like much, things that possibly happened in the house a long time ago.

Matt then starts seeing things when he is awake, strange and scary things that shouldn’t happen, initially no-one else sees these things.

Matt thinks he is going cuckoo-bananas. His Mummy and Daddy think it is just his special medicine, but it isn’t.

Eventually everyone in the house sees strange and scary things, and when they do there is usually a BIG LOUD NOISE to tell the audience that they should be scared too, because there really isn’t any other reason to be scared aside from the loud noises.

Yes kids in case you rented this without seeing the title the house is haunted and wants to get the family for… something. What possible motive could a house want unless it feels like this is the equivalent of housal abuse, or rape. (More likely rape but I think the “spousal” comparison is cleverer.)

Now as we all know the library is a great source of information and within a day or two Matt and the other chickie find out all they need to know about the house, including exactly why it is grumpy all the time.

Matt solves the mystery saves the day and cures himself… and if that was “based on a true story” so is Lord of the Rings, in as much as New Zealand exists.

Final Rating – 5.5 / 10. I can’t believe I got sucked in by posters! Without the loud music and sound FX accompanying every “scare” this would be sleep inducing. Turn the sound off and – better yet turn the movie off and get some sleep. You need 8 hours a night. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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