Bad Santa (Review)

Smile creepy if you nailed Angelina Jolie.

Like Kick Ass, but for slightly different reasons, Bad Santa generated a lot of buzz a few years ago in the media, mostly for the portrayal of jolly old Santa as a foul mouthed moody drunk.

As usual this meant people would go out of their way to condemn a film that they hadn’t even seen based upon what they had heard, rather than watch the thing. And in this case, those people were probably spot on, after all Bad Santa himself describes himself as :

“I’m an eating, drinking, shitting, fucking Santy Claus.”

But is the movie any good? Yes and no. Good enough that I suggest it is worth seeing, but it won’t be for everyone regardless of the profanity involved.

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Bad Santa follows the exploits of a pair of thieves who specialize in Christmas themed robberies.

Willie (Billy Bob Thornton), looks every bit a 50 + out of shape, bedraggled drunk, Marcus (Tony Cox), his partner, is a more savvy mastermind of the operation. He is also a midget (he uses the term himself in the movie, so I will too here).

Each year Willie dons the Santa red suit and beard, and Marcus dresses like an elf, and they hire themselves out as a tandem for department stores to attract kids over the holidays. Only once they have cased the stores they use their inside knowledge to break in and rob the place blind. They then lay low for a while and start the same plan again the following festive season in another state.

It is a pretty clever premise, but suffers by allowing logic to be totally ignored too frequently. No-one ever sees Marcus hiding in the store? I mean a 3 foot black guy that hangs out with a 6 foot guy in a Santa suit is reasonably memorable, and seeing one must twig the memory that the other isn’t present? Also they never wear gloves in any of the crimes, and seeing that they pull the same heist every year in different locations surely finger prints must be on file somewhere?

Moving on…

Willie is a master safe cracker but also a huge risk and liability for Marcus, he is constantly drunk or at least drinking (I mean constantly), usually trying to sleaze onto anything in a skirt, and treats people with contempt regardless of their age, background or position. He is in short a self hating equal opportunity arsehole, not a good combination for someone whose vocation involves dealing with young children on a daily basis. And this particular year Willie is worse than usual. (Again, my overriding sense of logic suggests no-one would EVER employ Willie for more than a day before firing him, or worse.)

Moving on…

From a personal perspective though Willie meets a bartender played by the annoying chick from the Gilmore Girls, who apparently has a Santa fetish and decides she loves him. Again with the logic, BBT is deliberately dressed down and boorish in this role, although Gilmore Girls lady is annoying, she is wayyy out of his league…

But he was married to Angelina Jolie at one point, so I’ll let logic slide here, as she did in real life for a while.

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That’s enough poking holes in logic.

As this is a (very black) comedy the plot from here is non-essential, apart from mentioning that this year’s gig will not go according to plan, and that at times the Personnel Manager (John Ritter) and Head of Security (Bernie Mac) get involved.

Much of the humour comes from the fact that Willie just doesn’t care, and he also doesn’t care who knows this.

A quick rundown of his exploits:

–         He bangs a big lady in the… change rooms.

–         He screams obscenities at small kids, frequently.

–         He punches the head off a reindeer in front of many kids.

–         He pisses himself in a drunken stupor.

–         He cracks on to underage girls in full view.

–         He punches piss out of a young boy.

–         He is constantly profane and belligerent, even to management.

And

–         He robs the home of a naïve boy, then promptly moves in when he realizes that the kid has no parents aside from a mildly insane Grandma.

So this is where the rest of the laughs come, the kid is basically unnamed for the bulk of the film. He is trusting, socially backwards, inquisitive, expressionless and basically appears mildly retarded. His interaction with Willie both before and after Willie moves in provides the more hilarious moments, as Willie becomes more and more frustrated with the constant stream of inane questions, and the kid seems unaware of the rising temper and simply continues on with them.

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Again, it is hard to talk plot when the driver of the film is basically profanity, without it this film would be a fairly routine and boring heist flick with a tenuous hook. Add a few (OK a fucking lot) of F-bombs, some big mama butt-plugging and a side order of alcoholism and we have a cult classic.

Bad Santa is not a bad film, but stands as more of a curio, as once you’ve heard Willie slag off everyone in sight for 90 minutes, you will either tire of it quickly or say “seen that” and move on.

Unless you are 13 – 17, then this shit might be hilarious for years to come.

Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. Some truly funny moments, but overall a spotty film that has built its notoriety through profanity.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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