Clash of the Titans 2010 (Review)

$$ Cash-In of the Titans $$

I’m about to give a spoiler-filled review of Clash of the Titans, hopefully this will not ruin your “enjoyment” of the film.

(For those of you who don’t know, CGI means Computer Generated Imagery.)

  1. Film opens with overblown pretentious sounding backstory about Greek mythology.
  2. A kid floats up to the surface of the ocean.
  3. The kid is called Perseus and grows up to be Sam Worthington.
  4. The Greek people have had a gutful of the Gods and declare war on them
  5. The Gods unleash CGI. Many dead.
  6. The Gods tell the Greeks that the Cracken is coming. This is apparently bad. CGI kills the Queen.
  7. Perseus discovers he is the son of a God named Zeuss, and his destiny is to kill the Cracken.
  8. First they must approach the Witches to find out exactly how.
  9. They’re off to see the Witches, the wonderful Witches of O(u)z(o). (It is Greece after all!)
  10. Perseus becomes an expert swordsman in one 30 second lesson.
  11. Perseus’ real Dad Hades shows up, a CGI ensues. Many dead.
  12. Giant CGI creatures come. Perseus and friends fight the CGI, kill the CGI, then ride other CGI. Many dead.
  13. The Witches give more pompous backstory, tell Perseus he must kill Medusa.
  14. Medusa CGIs a bunch of guys to death. (Many dead.) Perseus fights and kills CGI.
  15. Back in Greece, Perseus fights more CGI.
  16. Credits roll.
  17. Audience forgets film before they reach the cinema foyer.
  18. Film studio counts the money.

Ka-Ching.

If that sounds totally awesome to you I hope you have a great time. I want my $20 and 2 hours back.

At one point someone says “Some day, someone will have to say ENOUGH”. I thought exactly the same thing in my seat.

This is hardly the worst film of the year, but it is in a word, bland.

In two words: Bland. Unnecessary.

Final Rating – 6 / 10. Just because computers make films like this possible, doesn’t mean they need to be made… or seen.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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