Great? No. Very good? Yes.
If this was “Freddie Blerk and the Temple of Doom”, and not an “Indy” film it would have gotten better reviews, but in all likelihood wouldn’t still be talked about, that’s the pros and cons of being part of an iconic trilogy I guess.
Yes trilogy. Crystal Skull never happened. You hear me!
The reason why Temple isn’t considered in the same league as Raiders or the Last Crusade? Simple, Speilberg got pussy-whipped and cast his annoying missus in the film and practically set it up to fail.
At least by comparison, Temple is still quite entertaining and crackles along.
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The film opens with a musical number featuring Kate “I’m with the Director” Capshaw as Willie Scott babbling away sub par karaoke style in a Shanghai nightclub. The year we are told is 1935, and on this night Indiana Jones is meeting with some shady characters to trade some gems for a sought after relic. That Indy and his relics!
Of course the deal goes sour, you can never seem to trust crimelords can you?, and a standoff ensues. For some reason Indy grabs Willie as his bargaining chip, the bad guy says something to the effect of “I can get another annoying white woman to sing badly in my club”, Indy relinquishes her and they still go ahead with the deal anyway!
Until that is, a carefully choreographed action sequence that necessitates much screaming, near misses and some dead bad guys, all good things by the way.
At the conclusion of the set piece we meet Short-Round, a young Asian kid that acts as both Indy’s friend, go-fer and the film’s comic relief. And he is a relief as he is pretty funny and is responsible for offsetting a lot of the crap that Willie brings to the table.
(Everything Short-Round says in the film sounds like an exhausted parent trying to convince their young child of something, “I told you there is NO MORE CAKE!!”, “No, no, WAIT! LISTEN for a second. I’LL be RIGHT BACK!!”)
So a plane crash leaves our threesome, Indy, Short-Round and Lady Buzzkill in India, near a remote village struck down by famine and poverty. They learn that the town’s children have all been taken forcibly and put to work in a dangerous mine, where they are apparently searching for a long lost gemstone.
The Indians think that Indy’s arrival is a sign that he is the man to get the kids back, and of course Indy can’t turn his back on a relic or gem hunt, so off we go!
After the standard Indy-film fare of BUG! – GROSS ANIMAL! – EWWW YUCK I’M DIRTY! Stuff, all happening to Willie, they arrive at what should be a deserted palace and one time home of a vicious gang known as the Thuggee to find it not only inhabited but thriving.
At the palace they are greeted warmly and on the first night a lavish dinner is served in their honour. Of course this is the most memorable scene in the film, as the menu contains dishes that wouldn’t be out of place of Fear Factor, including scooped monkey brains and eye soup. Yumm-A-Doo!!
In between Willie hamming it up Indy learns more about the Thuggee and learns enough to know that it is a good thing that they are supposedly no longer around, as human sacrifice was one of their go-to moves.
Fast forward a minute past an annoying “should Indy and Willie get it on” scene and some more EWWWWW YUCK BUGS! And we are beneath the palace, where it appears that news of the Thuggee death was a little premature.
The rest of the film takes a darker tone, not Schindler’s List dark but it sure isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Hearts are ripped from living bodies, people are burned alive, voodoo dolls are used (maybe the Thuggee’s sister-cult is Haitian?) and finally many are eaten alive by crocodiles.
Unfortunately none of these fates befall Willie, just let it be said there is a reason she isn’t in the third. Not even a mention.
Things lighten up a little with a nifty little mining cart chase that is immaculately thought out, and even through the slightly dark stuff this is all very entertaining, just not for your pre-teens I would suggest.
(In fact if they turfed Will Scott from the thing I might give it another 0.5.)
All in all a worthwhile addition to the Indy Trilogy, even if it sits a rung below its companions in the DVD boxset.
Final Rating – 8 / 10. Weird foreign customs. Shonky food. Bugs. Creepy crawlies. Booby traps. Fight scenes. Narrow escapes. Explosions. What more could you want?
P.S. Noticeable in the “below the palace” final third of the film is the fact that everything is on elaborate, but obvious sets.
There is painfully evident lighting, some dodgy fake lava and the green screen stuff is so bad that it is distracting at times, perhaps this is due to the fact that this is well over 20 years old now but I couldn’t ignore it.
