Time for Nostradamus, I have already highlighted the movies I have previously avoided as I knew in advance they sucked. It seems easy to say once the public consensus is in that a movie blows. Here I have seen the future and by just the poster and the basic blurb I will inform you, the public which to avoid.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past – Matthew McConaghey in a romantic comedy playing a goofy guy who can’t find love. Jennifer Garner is one of the strangest looking male actors going around, big shoulders and horse teeth. Some sidekick!
Fast & Furious – Cars go fast. Again. Only this time the same crappy actors from the first crappy one return. That’ll turn my frown upside down.
The Brothers Bloom – I saw this when it was called Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
Management – Jennifer “Why won’t anyone stay with me?” Aniston, Steve Zahn AND Woody Harrelson. What could possibly go wrong? A comedy about sexual harrassment? Couldn’t possibly be as funny as calling it “her-ass-ment”. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. (Aniston has never been in a truly good movie: at least since Leprechaun.)
Night at the Museum 2 – Duh. See the previous list. Mediocrity reigns. I smell money anyway.
Dance Flick – I’ll never get tired of spoof movies. Oh wait, I did about 10 years ago. Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie. How could this go wrong? This crap will make money too.
Time will tell if I am right or very right. Next month I will see how I went, using the Tomatometer score as evidence of either my success or failure.
Really this shouldn’t be necessary, but I guarantee some of this crap will make a lot of money.
People, times are tough, don’t waste your hard earned cash on bad movies!
