Dead Shadows (Review)

SQUID!

SQUID!

Oh wow. This is bad, with the atrocious dub being only the first of a huge number of sins.

Some French kid had his parents murdered on the very night of the 1986 Halley’s Comet visit. A decade later another comet veers near the Earth. What good things might it bring to humanity?

A: No good whatsoever. Ummmm, everyone grows tentacles and their skin pulsates and throbs. Things ooze and bleed as skin blisters and disintegrates. Meanwhile the French kid wanders around, visits a party and gets hit on by every girl in Paris, tentacle or not.

And what are Dead Shadows anyway?

There are two shockingly choreographed fights, a topless half woman, half spider thing aaaaaannnddd; we’re done.

This is the clumsiest of clumsy, with the creatures ripped from the video games like Silent Hill and Resident Evil and a plot so truly original that it is reminiscent of nothing, mainly because it makes so little sense that you couldn’t possibly draw a parallel with anything.

I guess someone from France watched the execrable Skyline and thought ‘we couldn’t possibly make anything as bad as that’. They weren’t wrong, but not by much. This is horrendous stuff.

Final Rating – 4 / 10. Halley’s Comet might be back before you find another horror film as bad as this one. Also; WTF did Halley’s Comet have to do with anything anyway?

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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