Mystery Men does for superhero parodies what Galaxy Quest did for sci-fi parodies, namely take a niche that I have the faintest interest in, and over the course of two hours snuff that interest out once and for all.
In *UGH* ‘Champion City’ everyone gets the chance to be a hero, but the presence of Captain Amazing (Greg Kinnear) makes everyone else’s input redundant. Because he is so very amazing of course, and amazingness trumps everything else.
So very amazing is Amazing, that he is out of villains. Enter *Blecch* Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush). Or should I say exit? Thanks to Captain Amazing’s ill thought out endorsement, Casanova is released from maximum security to once again threaten Champion City from his nearby elevated doom lair.
Within minutes he has Captain Amazing under lock and key, powerless to unleash his amaze-powers.
Finally, a break for our ‘heroes’, the Mr Furious (Ben Stiller acting with his eyebrows), the Blue Raja (Hank Azaria using an awful accent no doubt rejected by The Simpsons – also, he should have been called the Forker) and the Shoveller (Bill Macy looking confused to be here).
With three amateur super-heroes whose skills are throwing forks, hitting people with shovels, and being upset, the one sensible decision that this trio of talentless make is asking for help.
Smart move. Bad execution.
The film then goes from a bore to a chore. We have to endure the ‘let’s recruit as many ill-thought out superheroes as possible in the name of hilarity. You’re super-strong? No room for you. You can leap tall buildings? Elsewhere pal. Oh you fart? You’re a ballerina? You carry a bowling ball? Well all aboard the chuckle train…
Just… none… of… this… is funny. Not nearly as funny as some people seem to find this joyless drivel. It takes a full two hours to get the money shot, with all the crew in full dress lined up in formation. Save the 120 minutes, look at the pic, and write me a thank-you cheque.
Final Rating – 4.5 / 10. Mystery Men is the product of one brainstorming session, zero requests for independent script review, and of a creative group collectively settling.
