Blood Beach (Review)

blood-beach-1-173068I was pissed off half way through Blood Beach when a character stole the only decent joke I had come up with. Then I looked at the poster and realised that it was pretty much the film’s main (only?) selling point.

In essence, Blood Beach surmises that ‘something’ exists below the surface of a popular American beach. ‘Something’ that grabs the unwary sunbather – or very slow walker – and sucks them deep into the sand through neat little holes.

My first thought was ‘buy clogs’. Even clown shoes. I mean there’s no point being scared of what may dwell in the water if you can’t even reach the water.

But that doesn’t stop Paulie from the Rocky series and John Saxon from Enter the Dragon from trying to find out what’s going on.

So we have an hour of vanishing dogs, old people and those silly enough to stand around, before a finale brings us the plain unvarnished and very unsatisfying – in fact already forgotten – truth.

For all I know this was the inspiration for Tremors, which added characters and jokes and then added 200% to every aspect of the film. But as a relic of a decade where horror was learning the ropes, Blood Beach is an all too dull B movie hiding behind a legendary B movie title.

Final Rating – 5 / 10. Blood Beach; a reason to head into the water… and out of the lounge room.

About OGR

While I try to throw a joke or two into proceedings when I can all of the opinions presented in my reviews are genuine. I don't expect that all will agree with my thoughts at all times nor would it be any fun if you did, so don't be shy in telling me where you think I went wrong... and hopefully if you think I got it right for once. Don't be shy, half the fun is in the conversation after the movie.
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