Before Statham was a mostly silent, square jawed balding action hero, he had a short lived career as a mostly silent, square jawed balding action villain. Actually as far as I can remember it is just this film.
Statham plays one of a group of nasty guys who unceremoniously gate crash the home of Jessica Martin (Kim Basinger) and lock her in the attic. Shortly after Jessica realises that the smashed telephone on the floor actually works, but sadly the only line she can get is a crossed line with a horny douche named Ryan (Chris Evans), who might be a little more pleased to have his call intercepted if he knew the woman on the other end was in 9 1/2 weeks…
It takes a while for Ryan to grasp the gravity of the situation, but once he does he’s all over Los Angeles on a one man 100 mph treasure hunt.
While Ryan traverses the landscape at high speed performing seemingly pointless tasks, Jessica must sit in an attic pretending that the stakes are getting higher – aided and abetted by Statham and his crew of menacing hangers on. Outside Bill Macy plays a retiring desk cop who is half interested pursuing a lead that may save everyone some time and trouble.
Cellular is rife with coincidences of convenience and riddled with logic flaws – Ryan only has one crack at getting the police involved? However like Phone Booth, Premium Rush and Panic Room before it, if you shelve concerns about such matters you should find an enjoyable 90 minute distraction.
Final Rating – 6.5 / 10. If you ride public transport these days you know just how fascinating everyone finds their mobile phones. Cellular is not so vital, but it is a decent low budget thriller and a solid weekend rental option.